A lot happened these past few days but I’ll cut right to the chase.

I hosted my usual Superbowl party, the main event for me being the food-like substances that I would usually not allow into my kitchen.

The only happy person that night. He’s lucky I allowed him in my kitchen.

Once a year I enjoy wallowing in it, though.

Yummy.

It was a disastrous game for Broncos fans so we moved the action into the kitchen which ended up being immensely more entertaining.

The kids watched a movie in the other room. I’m sure that was more entertaining, too.

Nitro is a the guy to invite to all your parties because he will do almost anything for money. I’m not sure whose idea it was to pay him to eat a banana coated with tepid queso dip, but it was more entertaining than anything happening on the field.

By popular demand, I am posting a video, for Lemony.

Nice, right?

Anyway, other more wholesome things happened this weekend.

I love this dumb guy

We walked around yesterday in the dazzling sun and snow. It was unspeakably beautiful. Of course the kids protested loudly and often but they don’t really get a vote when it comes to enjoying the outdoors.

They are gonna do it.

Scrotus got into it, at least. He actually demanded that I post that video. Okay kid, don’t get mad.

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Also this weekend, The Norwegian Nanny did another round of boudoir shoots in the apartment.

I have cleverly concealed the identity of the model!

I was on hand to boss women around and do sadistic things like order them to lie down in the snow-filled bathtub and then criticize them for looking cold.

Without the naked woman, rose petals in the snow

My job was very hard.

I took this boudoir photo of That Fucking Cat. Alluring, no?

Hey, guess what? Time to cut the crap.

I had to rearrange the living room for the party which meant discovering all kinds of great things that have been shoved lost under the furniture.

Holy great gouts of dog hair Batman! Who knew a Great Dane could shed so much? Here is the stuff.

Metal balls, marble, plastic thing

I saved the cluster, threw out the box

A lovely bracelet came in this bag (thanks Sara and Melissa!) Donate the bag.

Trash.

Trash

Shit that collects under the couch. Trash.

I got this for some insane craft project five years ago. I think it’s safe to get rid of these now.

Busted music box. Trash.