How Cats Get Away With Being A$$holes (7335)

The Fucking Cat has gotten into the toilet paper, yet again. Don’t chide me about this. I have no problem keeping the shower door closed. It’s someone else in this house who has the problem.

Yet still, she continues to be a part of our family.

Why? WHY?!

Here’s why. She’s damn cute.

Here she is lounging in a tiny mid-century modern chair that Loony bought for her.

Why? I don’t know. I’ve given up trying to understand.


Loony visited an abandoned farm today and dug through “30 years of raccoon shit” to find some valuable denim.

I told him to keep that shit out of the house. No joke. If he sorts that crap (literally) on my dining room table, I’m going to kill him.


Then he kept waxing rhapsodic about a raccoon he discovered hibernating amidst the piles. He went on and on about its luxurious coat; it was weird.

I’m not sure what to make of this. I’m calling the authorities if he shows up with a coonskin vest.

Time to cut the crap:

Who grills in the dark?

Who grills in the dark? Not me. DONATE.

12 thoughts on “How Cats Get Away With Being A$$holes (7335)

  1. I have never had a cat before. Then Basil and I adopt Linus and Lady(they were Basil’s moms)and they couldn’t be separated, so after several weeks of going over to the farmhouse everyday and giving them love, I told Basil, “let’s just take them” So they were older cats and we just got Athena(she was 8 wks old) so we had to put up a gate to block the back two rooms that the cats can go through but the dog can’t. Now 1 1/2 years later Lady and Athena love each other in a love/hate kind of way. Linus ignores Athena. But now as of yesterday we have a new puppy. My Christmas puppy! We are calling him Strider. I have them posted on facebook.

  2. hahaha thanks for the giggle. Erm how will you ever cut the crap if The Loon keeps piling on more…Crap? This is like some weird domestic Goddess version of the Catch-22. 😀 Happy Holidays to you and your family!

Leave a Reply