WTF (7325-7327)


My traffic has slowed down a bit since I stopped blogging every day; I figured that would happen. I usually check out my stats once a day to see what people are looking for. This search engine term stopped me in my tracks:

“little girl licking feet image”

What the fuck, people?!

dude-wtf

What is even more disturbing is that it somehow this revolting pedophile was brought to my blog. For the record, I have no images of little girls licking anything, not even a lollipop, much less feet.

Hey perv, this is for you.

Hey perv, this is for you.

I hope they got a really random post, like this one about the Amazing Braco.

But, since sex sells and I might have some readers that enjoy watching middle-aged women grunting while trying to pole dance, this is for you.

I took the boys to APEX for their weekly parkour lesson. Instead of dropping them off and then amusing myself for 50 minutes (i.e. trying to avoid buying anything at Target because that’s about all you can do in that amount of time) I trained in the studio.

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Working out on my living room pole just isn’t the same as being in the studio. I don’t have that fear that Minion will walk in and be scarred for life (like he was when he walked in on me in the bathroom, he was really bummed about that) or that Moneypenny will see me and just feel sorry for me.

Or that Lonny will walk in and watch and make me feel self-conscious or THE WORST, the boys will walk in and mercilessly critique me.

They’ve hung out with the likes of Marlo Fisken, David C. Owen, Holly Miely, Lara Michaels, Lemony, Dr. Ken, Waeli, practically at the same time, so when they are all, “Marlo doesn’t make those noises when she does that,” or “Ken can do a Starfish,” or “David is much more flexible,” I just kind of start yelling at everyone.

But in an empty studio, with the music blasting and absolutely no one watching, I can dance, and grunt, and be completely uninhibited. It’s magic.

Sometimes I forget how freakishly large my dog is.

Sometimes I forget how freakishly large my dog is.

Time to cut the crap. I only have a few things, but I can’t sustain 10 items a day, it’s too much effort. But I do want to keep up the habit of looking critically at the things in my life.

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True Religion denim that Loony got for me cheap somewhere. They are 27s, which I can technically fit into because they are very low rise and I have skinny hips (higher waisted jeans would not fly in a 27, no way) but they are kind of tight and I feel irritable in them so SELL ON EBAY.

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Tiny socks that are still in the boys’ drawer EVEN AFTER A YEAR OF PURGING and a pipe cleaner crafty thing that has been haunting the corners.

20 thoughts on “WTF (7325-7327)

  1. Let the record reflect that this reply comes from the greatest possible distance from Boulder: Khon Kaen, Thailand. Naturally we’re up at 4 AM surfing the web. Jet lag hath no mercy.

    But today, once others are also up, we have one of the finest breakfasts in the world, go to do a bit of research at a bilingual school to justify our existence here, then to a 1.3 hour foot massage for $15, lunch at a fantastic vegetarian restaurant, a drive through a historic part of town, and a last minute “get me ready for the air flight” massage at the airport before departing for Bangkok, and more of the same. You might gather that we love it here and think of you constantly–after all, this was your first home, and Thai was your first language. We love you so much and really wish we could share this with you. Too much fun available here for just the two of us. We need your expert ability to consume pleasure in order to help reduce the surplus. I wish I could attach a photo to this message. I think I’ll email it to you so you can post “the world’s most wonderful breakfast spot” for your readers, whom I feel I know.

    Love, Dad (and MAC)

    • I’m glad you are having a good time! I think I’m pushing the envelope posting pictures of food I eat already, posting my dad’s meals might tax even my most devoted readers (except you, natch).

  2. So Buzz and MaryAnn are slogging it out in Thailand? At their age, no respite? Interesting factoid, that you spoke some Thai when you were little? Who knew? (I guess your Dad did.) And yes, thank you for not
    posting the food pics; sharing does at times hit a point of diminishing returns.

    • “Slogging it out” in the lap of luxury, it sounds like. They know how to do it right. It’s true, Thai was my first and only language when I came to the US at age 3 or 4. I didn’t know a lick of English. I recall an audio recording of my grandmother listening to me speak and I could hear her say to my father, “I can’t understand her.”

      Now just look at me, talking all pretty and proper-like.

  3. Viv,
    Sorry about asking you to post pictures of my eating…etc. As you know, In my mind I am at the exact center of the Universe, and everyone is focused on (and enthralled with) me. I need the occasional reminder that this is not necessarily the case.

    I agree with you and Eugineagain that photos of other people’s meals might not do great things for your web traffic.

  4. Pingback: Food Posts are Boring But I’m Doing It Anyway (7334)) | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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