It’s 6:37AM and I’m in my new room watching the sun come up while writing.
It’s a dream come true!
I have spent more time in my new office than I could have every imagined, and it’s not even done.
This room has morphed into a tiny house inside a large house.
You may have picked up on my love of and yearning for a tiny house in my blog. I find them so darling and I love the way they focus one’s habits on minimalism and highly intentioned choices.
I thought I’d have to wait until the boys moved out and I outlasted Lonny to get my little house. Neither event I am looking forward to, by the way, or am even guaranteed. The boys could freeload forever and Lonny could outlive me because STRESS KILLS and I stress out a lot.
And who wants to wait? Me? Never.
Like I said before, I get what I want so I must be very careful about what I ask the universe for. I wanted a small oasis that is 100% Vivienne in the middle of Hurricane Frye.
Today is a day to give thanks, so here are the things I am thankful for, in no particular order and with many accidental omissions:
I am thankful for my kids, which is ironic because I have been such a raging bitch for the last week and this infernal break has us close quarters which is making them insufferable because they bicker all the time which makes me a less than kind and generous mother and more of a terrifyingly fierce Mommy Dearest, but still, I love my kids. So much. They are wonderful people and every day I wonder how Lonny and I managed to bring these guys into the world.
I am thankful for Lonny, who stood by me when I had absolutely nothing to offer. I was a depressed shell of a human being and even though all I could do was sob in a corner, he chose me, he stood by me, he said, “I want to make a life with you.”
Even though I wake up in the morning and make grand declarations like, “Today, I am going to turn our house/life upside down, or have 30 people over for dinner, or bring home a gigantic dog or a tiny kitten, or a dozen chickens, or get pregnant, and you’re gonna help!” he stays with me and says stuff like, “What color do you want me to paint the chicken coop?”
Oh Lonny, you are my dreamboat.
I am thankful for my parents. I feel so lucky to have a father I can talk to several times a week (for fun!) and who gets me. I am thankful for what my mother gave to me and sacrificed for me, even though she has cut ties. I am still grateful for her and I wish things were different and less painful. I wish I could be the daughter she wanted but I’ll settle for not hurting each other anymore.
I’m thankful for being born American, living in Boulder and experiencing the great abundance and beauty and ease of my life.
I’m grateful that my big problem is having too much rather than too little. I am deeply thankful that this is my burden, and not the opposite.
I am grateful for my friends, old and new, who have stood by me and make an effort to look past all my strange quirks. Sonya, Marcia, Kristen, Elizabeth, Tabitha, Chris, Donna and Heather to name a few. I am always eager to make new acquaintances but it takes a long time for me to call someone a friend.
I’m thankful for the friends that I once had even though I have lost them. They mean so much even though they are now gone from my life. I accept that they are lost to me but I have not forgotten why I loved them.
I am thankful for Shay, who has held my hand during this last stretch.
I am thankful for Melanie for giving me a place to dance and be myself, for letting me teach and for giving me time to finish this project before I throw myself back into dance. I am constantly moved by her generosity and open heart.
I am thankful that there is Thanksgiving class that starts in 20 minutes to allay the Thanksgiving gluttony guilt and that Heather is going to pick me up so I can’t find a reason not to go.
I am thankful for you, dear readers, who give me a reason to write every day. This grand project would have died two weeks after I started if I didn’t have you reading every day, encouraging me, and clamoring for more. You have helped me change my life.
And finally, I’m thankful that I got back the missing piece of my pole so I can set it up again. AND Dr. Ken is joining us for Thanksgiving (that’s 21!) and can entertain us while we are shoving our faces full of pie.
Time to cut the crap: