The Wu Plan (7160-7170)

Lonny and I ran into Wu today at Ozo. OF COURSE we bought his Earl Gray (I know! What the hell?) and he was all gracious like, “Really guys, you didn’t have to buy my ($2) drink.”

Seriously? We were all, “YOU SEWED UP MY FRIEND’S FACE! FOR FREE!” He will never buy anything as long as I’m around.

I told him that someone asked me if my insurance covered E.R. visits and I was like, “What do I need E.R. insurance for when I’ve got Wu?”

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Jeff was all, “That right, you’ve got the Wu Plan.”

Solid.

I also informed him that I will be horning in on the birth of his third child. I dropped enough subtle hints to his wife that she broke down and said I could come. I love seeing babies get born. It’s incredible.

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Wu was looking extra hot today.

I must say, my next husband will totally be Chinese.

I mean, if I were ever to remarry, which I won’t because Lonny is still alive (but thanks for asking about him, Jason, and just wondering, why hasn’t your wife killed you yet? I’d kill you, but not with a pillow because I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work and is really awkward) and there is NO WAY I’ll ever get married again. If I do, it will be to Shé. Or Harmy. Or Lemony.

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That’s right. I’m going lesbo the next time around. I swear it has to be easier than this man/woman shit.

Not that I don’t love Lonny. He is perhaps the only man I could ever be married to. Crazy as he makes me (and I make him) we work together.

The office reboot is still going strong. I realize that what I need to make this work is LESS STUFF.

Moving trash

Shocking, I know.

I want to repurpose my gigantic filing setup as a dresser which means I have to get rid of all my files. I can do this! I’ve been thinking about all the useless toiletries, clothes, files, crap I have that I don’t really need.

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These are filing cabinets but they would make an excellent dresser/armoirr. Now I just need to get rid of the stuff inside.

I have this beautiful sanctuary that I am loathe to cram with crap. I won’t do it!

Shé is showing up tomorrow to organize. I'm getting a jump on it by clearing these I had these  office supply boxes that were inside the cabinet out. I can't possibly need this many supplies. Most of what I do is digital these days. CONSOLIDATE!

Shé is showing up tomorrow to organize. I’m getting a jump on it by clearing these I had these office supply boxes that were inside the cabinet out. I can’t possibly need this many supplies. Most of what I do is digital these days. CONSOLIDATE!

The cat and dog are pretty happy to have a new sanctuary, too.

Pussy Galore loves the fleece bed I put on the radiator for her.

Pussy Galore loves the fleece bed I put on the radiator for her.

This is embarrassing. It's a box that holds tiny photo albums. I've had it for years. I was mocked when I got it (I was told that it was "cheesy" and I never even loaded all the pictures up. I'm going to scan the photos and DONATE.

This is embarrassing. It’s a box that holds tiny photo albums. I’ve had it for years. I was mocked when I got it (I was told that it was “cheesy” and I never even loaded all the pictures up. I’m going to scan the photos and DONATE.

I also got rid of several files full of documents from our house fire. It was insurance adjuster stuff that isn’t relevant at all.

10 thoughts on “The Wu Plan (7160-7170)

  1. Viv,
    You’re awesome in almost every way! I’ve downsized my household several thousand items, as well (thanks to a house fire) and very few things have made me feel better! I’m still purging and when I get behind, you get me going again!
    My next goal is to look as fab as you!
    Love,
    Andrea

    • Wow! Thank you so much!

      There is nothing like a massive house fire to help jump start a purging project. I don’t know how long you’ve been reading, but I had a huge one in 2003. Now I only wish more stuff had gone up in flames … Like Lonny’s records! Oh well. I guess I have to do it the hard way

  2. The Wu plan? Incipient Lesbosity?

    As you are reaching the end of the line (your rope, perhaps?), your posts get more frequent and even funnier, if that is possible. I’m reminded somewhat of the short strokes, but given that I’m your Dad I’m reluctant to make that analogy.

    Well, keep ’em com’n, as it were.
    LD

  3. I am totally with you, I love hot Asian guys! If anything happens to my hubs I am moving to someplace with a high Asian culture like San Fran or Vancouver. Anyway, probably in my next life. Or lesbo. Everything would be sweet. It would be like reading minds. But I am just not into that. More pics of your sanctuary room, please. It sounds like it is going to be just right. I think you wore yourself down last week with all the stress, resulting in the profane post, loved it though. Glad to see your happy face! Keep up the posts. Hopefully you won’t quit posting once you’ve reached your crap cutting goal. Maybe posting will be just for fun and your creative juices will really flow. Hope so!

    • I was never into Asian guys when I was younger (stupid, STUPID) but I am seeing the error in my ways. Alas, too late.

      The lesbian mind-meld thing might be kind of fun. If nothing it seems easier. For instance, “Oh honey, thank you so much for getting more tampons.”

      “No problem, it looked like we were running low and since I was already at the store getting groceries for dinner, it was no problem.”

      By the way, that’s what it’s like to be Lonny.

      I will never be done with this project. NEVER.

  4. I love how you stacked your filing cabinets into a new “dresser” it looks great…
    I am not sure how you dispose of personal papers in Boulder. Luckily we live in a small town and the farmhouse is on 2 1/2 acres and we don’t have to worry too much about it being too dry for fires….so Basil and I made a burn pile full of all of his mom’s taxes dating back to the 70’s. So basically we have been just adding to it as need be.
    I know a lot of people like to shred personal papers but where we live you can not recycle shredded paper. (Which completely goes against my eco-nazi style) We were going to just bury the cubic yards of papers but decided on the bonfire idea. It is weird, the fire will look like it has gone completely out, Basil will add more paper onto it, then the next morning it is all gone again.

    • Oooh. A fire would be great but a complete no-go in Boulder. Shredding takes forever, too. I’m a little stuck on that one.

      I love your little town. Does it feel the same way it did when I visited years ago?

  5. Yes nothing has changed. It still has that small town feel…..and dogs walk around w/o leashes…..
    We still only have the store, the PO, and the community center, and I can’t imagine anything changing in the near future.
    About your papers…..If you knew someone that had worms you could give them your shredded paper and have the worms go crazy.
    I am not sure if you have any type of compost, but it is really fun for kids to see what the worms can do

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