Office Shuffle: Day 2 (6951-7051)

It around 6am. The Dumb Dog decided to get up really early  and go downstairs. Then he decided he needed to bark at nothing.

Two things were going through my head. 1) He needs to take a dump really bad which is a nothing short of completely panic inducing, or 2) someone is casing the joint.

Last night we went  to The Big City (Denver) and saw David Sedaris and basked in the company of our people, aka Fellow NPR listeners.

The lovely Paramount theater.

The lovely Paramount theater.

That guy knows how to put on a show. He started promptly at 8:00, was done by 9:30 and we were able to be in bed by 10:00. That’s how I roll!

On the way back I heard about Julie’s botched break-in. A sex offender tried to break into her house but the mountain of dishes in her sink acted as a sufficient deterrent. Let’s hear it for heaping piles of dirty dishes! They can save your life!

This could save your life!

Sex offender in your house or dishes? You choose.

Then I heard about how Jason had to naked wrestle not one but two intruders in his house on separate occasions.

I was all, tell me more. Was it like Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises? And he was like, “No.”

All this talk of home intrusion got me on high alert because, as you may know, we’ve dealt with our fair share of that kind of thing. Sometimes it’s a total stranger, other times it was someone I know, and then there was the insane dog trainer.

When Blue barks, I listen.

As it turned out, it was nothing. He had to go potty but waited until he got outside, like always. He’s a good dog.

But now I’m up and writing in bed and watching Will Ferrel wresting scenes on youtube. Research!


Because I was up before dawn, I got to see one of my favorite things. My neighbor’s headlights cast really lovely moving shadows on my ceiling as he backs out of the driveway to go to work. I love this moment.

Now the sun is coming up and the light is unspeakably beautiful. The sky is a lightening shade of blue, the clouds are all pink and tree outside my window is glowing gold.

My soon-t0-be office has eastern facing windows and I know Lonny will be delighted to wake up to the sunrise every morning. I know he misses it even though the pain of moving all his eBay stuff will temporarily eclipse all happiness in his life.

Good morning!

Good morning!

But then we’ll arrive on that morning when we wake up with the kids all the way across the hall and the pink morning light bathing our room and he will congratulate himself on coming up with the idea to swap rooms. And that will be okay by me.

Now I need to get up, get the boys ready for school and meet Shé at 8:30 to tackle the eBay room. Good times, people. I also need to get to the bottom of why my room smells like dog farts and shampoo.

The day started with getting rid of this stuff in my car.

The day started with getting rid of this stuff in my car.

It ended with moving this merchandise to the garage.

It ended with moving this merchandise to the garage.

Okay, it’s later in the day and I am feeling far less optimistic. Watch the video to see what’s going down.

This project sucks on so many levels. I know that it is going to be fantastic and once Lonny get his new space dialed in, he’ll feel a lot better about things. But right now, everything sucks.

Did I mention that this sucks?

The boys' room was a temporary space for "bags of bags." I'm sure I'll get in trouble for getting rid of some of them.

The boys’ room was a temporary space for “bags of bags.” I’m sure I’ll get in trouble for getting rid of some of them.

Shé and I have been sorting and organizing the merchandise, much to Lonny’s dismay. He says he needs to be involved in the process, and we agree. We’ll separate out all the categories, place a pile of sorted shirts/jeans/jackets on a clean work surface and he can sort them into sell now, sell later, donate piles. It seems like it should all be hunky dory, but it isn’t.

All the merchandise from the room is sorted into marked bins and bags. I would love Lonny to go through these one at a time and sort them into sell now, sell later, donate.

All the merchandise from the room is sorted into marked bins and bags. I would love Lonny to go through these one at a time and sort them into sell now, sell later, donate.

I’m not trying to take anything away from him, but that’s kind of how he’s treating it. Shé is great because she reminds me that his defensiveness is coming from lots of places, and it’s not necessarily about me. But it’s hard.

How can you be mad at this?

How can you be mad at this?

She and I are working 7+ hours a day to get this done and I feel pretty unappreciated. Worse than that, I feel like the enemy. But I’m not, I’m trying to create a better home for us. While some gratitude would be nice, I’d settle for cooperation.

Yet I can talk myself out of being pissed off. I know this is super hard for him. I’m this woman who came into his life ten years ago and turned everything upside down.

Let’s have babies! Let’s renovate the house! Let’s kick out the housemates! Now let’s get some housemates! Fuck housemates, let’s do VRBO! Move out the warehouse! Find a warehouse! You can use the 2nd floor room for six months and that’s it! It’s been two years, time to get out!

It’s been nothing but upheaval for him from the moment he set eyes on me. I think he would admit that most of my ideas turn out really well, but not without the pain of change. Right now we both are hurting, sore and tired.

Shé has appointments tomorrow so we’re taking the day off, so to speak. I haven’t walked Blue in three days so I’m going to clear my head with a reservoir walk with Tabby. Then I have to figure out a way to get Lonny to sort this table.

A sticking point.

A sticking point.

Lonny says that he wants to keep everything on this table for himself. I have no idea where he plans to keep it or why he even wants to.

He has a walk-in that is piled three feet high and has taken over the closet in here (which I want back because I don’t even have my own closet, I share one with the boys). This is the guy that wears the same outfit every day.

I’m so frustrated I just want to cry or fight or lash out but none of that will help. I love Lonny.

Love. Him.


Never forget, it’s just stuff. Love is real.

He’s my man and despite this one, big, difficult thing, everything else about him is really wonderful. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life. Even his hoarding ways have a silver lining, it sustains this family.

I guess I just need to put my head down and remember what is important and lean on Shé to get through this next week.

13 thoughts on “Office Shuffle: Day 2 (6951-7051)

  1. Wow, Viv! Stellar post! I am so happy for you your family, your wonderful mind and spirit, and how you approach life. I remain in awe. LD

  2. Reading this, the first thought in my head is that you need your own reality show. The second is that your ability to keep perspective in the midst of chaos is incredible and inspiring. Keep on keepin’ on!

  3. Aw you guys, you’re so cute together, smooching like that. Glad you’re still in love, if nothing else it gives the rest of us some hope. And I agree with what Dad said above about the tone and quality of the post itself. Really sweet.
    BTW, your assistant “She” (cannot do the accent mark), besides being very cute (love those pretty girls w/glasses), is fantastically long-waisted, I think you’d call it. Long and lean, anyhow. Striking, even. You can tell her I said so.

  4. Change sucks. Even if it is good change. Even if it is change that will make everything better in a major way. It still sucks. Routines are comfortable, and comforting. Once you get through this, it will be awesome, but until then… yeah. Sending you guys strength from the other side of the States.

      • You bet! I am one of those people (much like you, I suspect) who can see the end of the journey and know it is worth it in the long haul, but I really have a lot of empathy for the Lonnys out there who find the whole thing to be terrible and not worth it. The good side is, it doesn’t last! You’ll be done in no time and happy with the results!

  5. You have a really great attitude. The most important thing in life is your loved ones. The stuff you can figure out how to deal with, but your relationship is the priority. Basil and I both have tons of stuff that we are widdling away. I have been to thriftstores so many times in the last year that I have a huge stack of tax receipts that I am considering donating to friends and family. 🙂

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