It around 6am. The Dumb Dog decided to get up really early and go downstairs. Then he decided he needed to bark at nothing.
Two things were going through my head. 1) He needs to take a dump really bad which is a nothing short of completely panic inducing, or 2) someone is casing the joint.
Last night we went to The Big City (Denver) and saw David Sedaris and basked in the company of our people, aka Fellow NPR listeners.
That guy knows how to put on a show. He started promptly at 8:00, was done by 9:30 and we were able to be in bed by 10:00. That’s how I roll!
On the way back I heard about Julie’s botched break-in. A sex offender tried to break into her house but the mountain of dishes in her sink acted as a sufficient deterrent. Let’s hear it for heaping piles of dirty dishes! They can save your life!
Then I heard about how Jason had to naked wrestle not one but two intruders in his house on separate occasions.
I was all, tell me more. Was it like Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises? And he was like, “No.”
All this talk of home intrusion got me on high alert because, as you may know, we’ve dealt with our fair share of that kind of thing. Sometimes it’s a total stranger, other times it was someone I know, and then there was the insane dog trainer.
When Blue barks, I listen.
As it turned out, it was nothing. He had to go potty but waited until he got outside, like always. He’s a good dog.
But now I’m up and writing in bed and watching Will Ferrel wresting scenes on youtube. Research!
Because I was up before dawn, I got to see one of my favorite things. My neighbor’s headlights cast really lovely moving shadows on my ceiling as he backs out of the driveway to go to work. I love this moment.
Now the sun is coming up and the light is unspeakably beautiful. The sky is a lightening shade of blue, the clouds are all pink and tree outside my window is glowing gold.
My soon-t0-be office has eastern facing windows and I know Lonny will be delighted to wake up to the sunrise every morning. I know he misses it even though the pain of moving all his eBay stuff will temporarily eclipse all happiness in his life.
But then we’ll arrive on that morning when we wake up with the kids all the way across the hall and the pink morning light bathing our room and he will congratulate himself on coming up with the idea to swap rooms. And that will be okay by me.
Now I need to get up, get the boys ready for school and meet Shé at 8:30 to tackle the eBay room. Good times, people. I also need to get to the bottom of why my room smells like dog farts and shampoo.
Okay, it’s later in the day and I am feeling far less optimistic. Watch the video to see what’s going down.
This project sucks on so many levels. I know that it is going to be fantastic and once Lonny get his new space dialed in, he’ll feel a lot better about things. But right now, everything sucks.
Did I mention that this sucks?
Shé and I have been sorting and organizing the merchandise, much to Lonny’s dismay. He says he needs to be involved in the process, and we agree. We’ll separate out all the categories, place a pile of sorted shirts/jeans/jackets on a clean work surface and he can sort them into sell now, sell later, donate piles. It seems like it should all be hunky dory, but it isn’t.
I’m not trying to take anything away from him, but that’s kind of how he’s treating it. Shé is great because she reminds me that his defensiveness is coming from lots of places, and it’s not necessarily about me. But it’s hard.
She and I are working 7+ hours a day to get this done and I feel pretty unappreciated. Worse than that, I feel like the enemy. But I’m not, I’m trying to create a better home for us. While some gratitude would be nice, I’d settle for cooperation.
Yet I can talk myself out of being pissed off. I know this is super hard for him. I’m this woman who came into his life ten years ago and turned everything upside down.
Let’s have babies! Let’s renovate the house! Let’s kick out the housemates! Now let’s get some housemates! Fuck housemates, let’s do VRBO! Move out the warehouse! Find a warehouse! You can use the 2nd floor room for six months and that’s it! It’s been two years, time to get out!
It’s been nothing but upheaval for him from the moment he set eyes on me. I think he would admit that most of my ideas turn out really well, but not without the pain of change. Right now we both are hurting, sore and tired.
Shé has appointments tomorrow so we’re taking the day off, so to speak. I haven’t walked Blue in three days so I’m going to clear my head with a reservoir walk with Tabby. Then I have to figure out a way to get Lonny to sort this table.
Lonny says that he wants to keep everything on this table for himself. I have no idea where he plans to keep it or why he even wants to.
He has a walk-in that is piled three feet high and has taken over the closet in here (which I want back because I don’t even have my own closet, I share one with the boys). This is the guy that wears the same outfit every day.
I’m so frustrated I just want to cry or fight or lash out but none of that will help. I love Lonny.
He’s my man and despite this one, big, difficult thing, everything else about him is really wonderful. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life. Even his hoarding ways have a silver lining, it sustains this family.
I guess I just need to put my head down and remember what is important and lean on Shé to get through this next week.