Yesterday I wrote what I considered to be a one-off blog post: nothing special, just something to put up. Completely unmemorable.

Granted, I was distracted with kids and ordering Thai food for dinner (I’m so sick of the kitchen) but I was shocked to discover that between editing the photos and writing the stupid thing, it took me three hours to do.

People ask me how long it takes to write a blog post and I say about an hour or so. Let me revise that, it takes hours, with an “s”. But only if you care about spelling and sentence structure but even then I can’t make any guarantees.

Really good posts take even longer. I am salivating at the idea of having more time to get other things done.

With that in mind, today I am giving you a recipe.

WALNUT CRUSTED SALMON

Serves 4-6 people, even glutards!

1/2 cup raw unsalted walnut halves

1 tablespoon honey

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard

2 tablespoons mayonnaise

Zest of one lemon

1/8 teaspoon sea salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Four 6-ounce skin-on, center-cut salmon fillets, 3/4 to 1 inch thick or a large fillet.

Directions:

Pulse the walnuts and lemon zest in a mini food processor until finely chopped, pulse in olive oil and a pinch of salt. It will create kind of a pasty texture.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Use nonstick cooking oil spray to grease a baking dish large enough to hold the salmon fillets in a single layer.

Whisk together the honey, mustard, mayonnaise, salt and pepper in a small bowl. Spread the tops and sides of the fillets with the mixture, using all of it.

Press the nut mixture into the top of each fillet, making sure to coat the top evenly and completely. As you work, arrange each coated fillet in the baking dish, skin side down. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes at 350 degrees until not quite done. Broil for a minute to toast the walnuts. Take care, it burns fast.

Serve warm.

You can make it without the mayonnaise, but it really is better with. I have a friend who lives in fear of mayo which, to me, is simply a challenge.

I’m not in love with mayo or anything, it kind of grosses me out but I do think it is necessary in many recipes (like tuna, or egg salads). I knew that this dish would be better with. So I slipped it in and she raved about the salmon.

I, feeling triumphant, mistakenly confided in her husband and that fink totally ratted me out!

Now she’ll never trust me again.

Emily: I know you fed me mayonnaise last night…I admit defeat.

Viv: It was for your own good. Jason told you, didn’t he?

Jason: There is no victory without gloating.

Viv: IT WASN’T YOUR VICTORY! BASTARD!

Heck, I’ll fill you in on the day’s activities. I do it for my dad and step-mom who are in Kuwait. Hi Dad! Hi MaryAnn!

Marlo left this morning, but not after I fixed her a plate of German sausage, eggs, grilled tomatoes and spinach. We’ll miss you, Marlo! Come back soon! I want to play more bizarre party games with you!

Tabby dropped off her tiny dog for the week. It just wouldn’t be my house with some kind of houseguest. I’m sure amusing videos will ensue as the Pussy Galore is now about his size and likes to chase him around. Poor Blue is still trying to establish his place in this house and the mini-tyrant always confuses him.

The kids got up at the crack of dawn (they crashed out on the couch at 5pm) and I fell asleep reading a book. They woke up really early and I had to get them the fuck out of the house so they wouldn’t wake up our VRBO guests.

We went to the Parkway for breakfast and I saw a young man in his military dress uniform who reminded me of Lemony’s son who is serving in Japan right now. I bought his breakfast.

I can bask in my superior mothering skills today because I got the kids to go outside before dropping them off at Chuck E. Cheese’s for a birthday party.

Hiking with my own kids is hellish because they fixate on me as their torturer and complain the whole time. As if going outside on an 80 degree day is so bad. I try to remind them that some people travel to Boulder just to go hiking and they should try being grateful for a change.

Blah, blah, blaaaaahhhhh.

However, they have a great time if I bring along some more kids. Today the boys were obsessed with breaking up horse turds with big sticks.

Whatever keeps you moving in a forward direction.

I owe this pat on the back to myself because I was extra down on my parenting last night when I was walking the dogs and observed with great guilt the neighbor’s kids practicing their musical instruments while my kids watched TV. Redeemed!

I pulled a fanny pack out of the closet for the hike and had this little memory of Frank. He liked to sleep on it, evidently. Rest in peace, Frankie!

My neighbor said that Frank has been hanging out in his garage and I got excited for a minute but then confirmed that it wasn’t him. He’d be pretty pissed off about the kitten situation of here anyway.

Time to cut the crap.