Friday’s party pretty much sucked the life out of me.
Saturday was all about survival mode. I could have been more hung over, mostly I just felt weak and sapped of energy. It was pretty much an un-parenting day where I let my kids do whatever they wanted just as long as they made no demands on me.
Today I vowed to make it up to them by not blogging (which is why this is a day late but pre-dated: thanks mommabird for the hot tip) and just spending time with them.
We went out, en famille, to our favorite greasy spoon because they have shatteringly crisp hash browns. Naturally, I had to save the day and stack.
Then I found this lovely wooden reminder of how I should always feel in the sale bin.
Did I buy it? No I didn’t. That’s what a year of purging tchotchkies will do for a gal. Woot!
Then I left a little love-letter for my friend and fellow party person on the door of her business.
We got invited to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese’s which I actually attended with them rather than dropping them off and running to Costco like a coward. It wasn’t as bad as I had imagined.
It’s been 25 years since I’ve been to one, and that was only once, so my dread was based upon very limited experience. Since that was prior to the turn-of-the-century (aka The Dark Ages) and people could still smoke inside, around children, I was pleasantly surprised to see that this Chuck E’s had windows and didn’t smell like a tavern. And there was a salad bar!
Unfortunately they still trade on kids’ inability to do math. They have those loathsome “games” where you put in a token and see what happens. Maybe you’ll get some tickets. And then you can take the tickets up front to exchange for “prizes.”
It’s really hard to explain to kids with a colossal rip off these prizes are. For instance, the biggest prize up there can be redeemed for 10,000 tickets.
Hear me out. One quarter buys one token. Let’s be generous and say each token nets 10 tickets. That means that craptastic vinyl keyboard which you can buy on Amazon for $69.99 actually costs $250 and you have to be in Chuck E’s for 10 hours. At least.
But being more reasonable, it seems like kids were averaging five tickets per token, which makes it pop up to $500. Try to reason with a kid, though. They are still thinking that they are getting the prizes for free.
Chuck E’s is the gateway to Vegas, people. The lights, the bells, the “rewards.” Our kids are being groomed to lose their life’s savings in Sin City. I never thought I’d say this but, I would rather they just have video games. At least kids have a chance of getting better at them and making their quarter last longer.
But I am not complaining. I am always happy to go to any party, especially one where my kids can run amok and I don’t have to feed them. It’s not like I had any better ideas that day and unlike my party, no one left with a facial laceration that required five stitches.
In exchange for this kindness I brought this token gift.
I’m going to start a new category in my blog, “The Woman Who Does Everything Better Than You.” This is my first entry. Wrapping birthday presents.
Don’t spend that $3 extra for a gift bag. Don’t even bother to wrap it up. You have my permission to slap on that gift receipt and call it done. You’re welcome.
Time to cut the crap.