Dregs of My Brain


Today’s the big day and I seriously do not have time to write much of a post or cut any crap. Sorry.

There’s a disco ball to be dealt with, poles to be installed, glitter to be strewn about, dancers to be pampered. Ah, the life.

It doesn’t help that my “friend” is trying to sabotage me. She knows I need to be 100% on my game tomorrow but she goes and schedules a happy hour anyway. Some friend.

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She asked if I was stressed about the party and I said no. But you know what would be really great? If I could do all the set up for the party, get the kids home and fed, go to bed and then wake up after a full night’s sleep and then go to the party. I could rage for hours under those conditions.

Why don’t people schedule crazy parties for first thing in the morning? And I’m not talking about brunch. Think about it. It makes sense.

I’m feeling a little addled. I didn’t realize until WHILE AT HAPPY HOUR that my costume wasn’t remotely finished. Like, there was no headdress (and it needs a one) or bottoms. And yes, I need bottoms. So I managed to only have one marg because I started freaking.

I love Halloween but I hate making costumes. No, that’s not true. I love making costumes but I hate making them at the eleventh hour, like today.

I ended up at the costume shop looking for a headdress (bingo!) but came up dry on the loincloth front. I went to the fabric store to pull something together and then came home, put the kids to bed, sewed up my costume and here I am, piecing together a craptastic post.

I am completely devoted to my readers.

In other news, adorable dad Jacob (of Pole Fail Field Surgery Fame) is healing quite nicely.

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Once that little scab falls off, you won’t be able to tell anything happened. More importantly he reported that he has suffered no loss of sensation and his kissing abilities have not been compromised. Who knows, maybe Wu built him better, stronger, faster.

Whew. The Good Doctor is safe from a malpractice suit.

While chatting with my dad the conversation came around to my Vitamix. He admitted that he isn’t eating as healthfully as he would like to. Since he has a Vitamix already, he really has no excuse for not getting his veggies.

I made this little tutorial for him.

Minion walked in while I was reviewing it. He was like, “Are you starting a cooking show?”

“No.” I said.

“It’s like you are some kind of  iPhone commercial for old people.”

What? No! I’m not old … YOU … YOU … WHIPPERSNAPPER!”

Young people.

I admit that I am having technology problems. I have a friend who had two numbers in his contact card. One was an outdated number that had been reassigned. Despite deleting the number from his contact, sometimes it comes back up when I’m texting him. Like yesterday.

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This happens every few months and I don’t know how to make it stop. I type in his name to send a text and sometimes this old number shows up. And every time it happens, I am sending a snarky text. And the person always responds, “Who is this?”

I think he/she should put my name in his/her contact list. To avoid future confusion.

And finally, we’re two for two. Someone parked across my driveway. Again!

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Hey, that sign says NO PARKING and that cute little building with the pad in front of it is my GARAGE! Not that I can even get inside my garage, but still.

Hey man, these are the dregs of my blogging mind. I’m busy! See you tomorrow. Maybe.

9 thoughts on “Dregs of My Brain

  1. Fantastic video. I now feel safe enough to make a Vitamix smoothie on my own and transition from a diet of chips and salsa. As always, you’ve mastered yet one more (cooking show) genre. I continue to remain in awe, and I so wish I could be at your magnificent upcoming party. What a feat! Wishing you an over-the-top success. LD

Really? No way.

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