Don’t get all excited, it didn’t involve me swinging on it Miley-style and having the whole thing shatter into a pile of broken glass.
You wish.
No, it involved me, Lonny and Joe driving to Lakewood to pick the damn thing up with a truck and ladder and ropes (and video camera, which is why I was there) and getting stood up.
Sucks.
And the boys (as in my children) were being totally obnoxious while Joe’s daughter was being a perfect angel and suddenly I was wishing I had a girl. This, too, shall pass but I wanted to strangle them.
So there goes today’s post. I did, however, get a little squirrelly yesterday when I realized I had exactly NO PLANS AT ALL for the entire weekend and put out a blast to everyone I know that there would be drinking at my house. If you knew about it and didn’t come (Pamcakes) you missed out.
I don’t have the energy to edit the copious video I took in time to post it, but you’ll see what happens when you get a bunch of pole dancers in one room.
Okay, it might not be quite as exciting as you might think, unless you like watching beautiful people do amazing things.
Anywho, about the most exciting thing that happened today is that APEX got a bouncy floor and it’s right outside the Vertical Fusion doors! Nina and I were freezing our butts off and discovered a new way to warm up.
Then I took her class in the poling outfit I’m wearing for the big party. It’s always a good idea to test drive any outfit you intend to perform in because you don’t know how well it will hold up. Despite what you might think, I’m really not down with wardrobe malfunctions.
I mean, I’ll gladly humiliate myself for my friends’ enjoyment but even I have limits.
I like to keep the covered parts covered, ya know.
It turns out that this outfit is VERY see-through. Fortunately Shé and I will be lingerie shopping tomorrow. I promise to take pictures (of her). Shé says she’s okay with it as long as you can’t see her face. Not a problem.
Time to cut the crap.

Lonny picked up this lovely activity book somewhere but GUESS WHAT? It’s already been filled out. RECYCLE.

These knives have been replaced by fancier knives that Lonny brought home. We have a vague recollection of being at a friend’s house and they had really sucky knives but now we can’t remember who they were. When we do, I’m giving them these.
Looks like that floor could wear you out after a short time. Love the outfit.
The floor is fun and exhausting, perfect for a quickie warm-up.
Dang I did know about your impromptu happy hour but we already had friends over here Friday evening…. Your outfit looks HOT!!
Yet you texted me about pasties for your own outfit. Anticipation!!!!!
Turns out my outfit is very see through too, though much more fabric than yours. Think I need some camel toe protection in addition to pasties. It’ll be dark there right? 😉
Girl, you gonna steal the show.
Yes, yes people will be slamming into that wall now too. I was in open pole yesterday and it was shaking quite a bit.
I hate it when they slam into the wall, it scares the shit out of me. I love the parkour guys, they are adorable, but when the phone goes flying off the wall?
“Flattering lighting”? Unless that pic has been heavily photoshopped or something–I mean come now, my dear Vivienne, you really just need to OWN IT, know what I mean? I mean, you know that my love for you has always emanated from a place well beyond the physical realm…but a moment ago my heart, along with some other random parts, has just experienced a couple of sharp spasms. Lingering over that striking photo of you. Flattering lighting my ass–just a beautiful body. So sue me…
Thanks Greg. You are very, very kind. But I think it is important for all people (especially women) to acknowledge that just the right angle and play of light can make all the difference, even for the most beautiful and perfect specimens (according to our twisted standards) that get plastered on magazine covers. I take very good care of my body but I also take horrible photos. And good ones. But I only show the good ones, unless I am impersonating Kim Jong Il.
Whatever. Love you anyway and always…
Bummer. After seeing your outfit, I wish we could go to the party. Just decided to opt for fiscal responsibility for a change.
LAME! It’s not too late to change your mind.
Hi Viv,
I always love reading your blog! I wanted to say, though, that I find the photo you used to start this post (the “disco ball fail” photo) to be offensive. I recently read an article on salon.com about how those kinds of photos are often spread around the internet without the person knowing or being able to do anything about it. It seems to me that publicly sharing such photos risks contributing to body-shaming and the humiliation of anonymous, powerless people. Anyway, I just wanted to bring this to your attention (don’t mean to seem like I’m on some moral high ground!). Here’s the article: http://www.salon.com/2013/10/02/my_embarrassing_picture_went_viral/
Fair enough. I had a moment of pause before I selected the photo (for the exact reasons that you brought up) and then got lazy, I appreciate you for calling me on it. I’ll change it to something that doesn’t risk offending or shaming anyone. Truth be told, what I wanted was a smashed disco ball. I’m sure I can find one if I try a little harder. Thanks for keeping me honest. However, I am keeping the photo of Miley up. After seeing her performance on SNL recently, I think she is more in control of what she’s doing than anyone gives her credit for. She might actually be wagging our dog.
That Salon article is great, BTW. It was great food for thought. Thank you for calling my attention to it and the brave woman who refused to be victimized. I don’t want to be a part of that culture.
Damn girl you look good!