Happy Birthday Testiclese (6636-6638)

Testiclese’s first grade teacher informed me that children would not be having cake on their birthday anymore, instead, they would read their birthday story.

At first I thought it was awfully bah-humbug but then I thought, I don’t really want my kids eating extra sweets at least 25 extra times in class. The school day is too short to get kids all hyped up an unable to focus.

Today Lonny and I went to his class and I read his birth story to the class. Then we read Happy Birthday to You by Dr. Seuss to the class. In my opinion, it was better than cake.


I am now a believer in this new ritual. I love that instead of sweets being the focus of the day, it is the child. We celebrate everything with food these days and for some crazy reason we are becoming an obese nation. Let’s celebrate the person instead.

With birthday chicken

With birthday chicken

Oh, and Dr. Ken just stopped by. He needed to borrow a bra from me. “For a video tutorial.”


I asked him why he didn’t just use one of his wife’s but he said he couldn’t get her on the phone and it “would be weird” to just take one from home and use it in a video.

So he’s using mine which is by far less weird. Whatever. His biceps look better in my bra than mine do. Is there anything he can’t do?

Time to cut the crap.

Just two things today but seriously, I’m in the weeds right now.


This thing saved my life on a long trip with the boys. I’m going to put it on RocknMoms

Lonny got these for me, wanting to be nice. But they are too small. I think they are an 8-8.5. Who wants them? Locally.

Lonny got these for me, wanting to be nice and thinking I could wear them when I, uh, work out. But they are too small. I think they are an 8-8.5. Who wants them? Locally.

Here’s what I read to the class. Keep in mind that I wrote it for first graders.

Micah’s Birth Story

I was just finishing putting baby locks on the drawers and cabinets when I felt the baby tell me he was ready to come out. His brother was just 17 months old and I worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on a busy toddler while I had a newborn to take care of.

The first time I had a baby, I wasn’t sure what it would feel like. With Micah, I knew that very moment that it was time. I was so excited!

I got Micah’s dad and we got in the car to go to the hospital. As he started the car, the first snow of the year began to fall. I have heard that babies like to be born in the middle of storms.

We went to the hospital where my friends were waiting for me. I labored long into the night and then had Micah the next morning at 4:45 in the early morning. When the doctor pulled him out, he was totally silent.

My first thought was something was wrong. I thought babies were supposed to cry. I said, “Why isn’t he crying?” and was scared, but then I heard his strong voice. I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to him as the nurses put him in a blanket.

When I first looked at his little face I thought, “I don’t know you.” I suppose I expected to see the face of the only other baby I truly knew, his brother. But the more I looked at him, the more I knew him, and I fell in love immediately.

We spent every minute together at the hospital. He slept either on my chest or his daddy’s. He was the best baby. I was so happy to have another son and every birthday (seven since then) I think about that day and am so happy to have such an amazing, thoughtful, kind, intelligent and funny son.

Happy birthday Micah!

6 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Testiclese (6636-6638)

  1. That sounds like a wonderful ritual! Between food allergies and obesity, it’s impossible to serve cake to a whole class anyway, and I agree that the kid celebrating his/her birthday should be in focus instead of the sugar. I imagine the teachers are pretty happy about not having sugared-up kids running around for the rest of the day as well 🙂

    • Yep. This country has such a strange relationship with food. It’s how we celebrate and show love, yet we feel guilty and shameful about eating too much. It is so love/hate and there is no moderation. I’d rather just focus on loving each other and enjoying a really lovely confection for truly special moments only.

      Having children puts a very fine point on the issue for me. I dread holidays because there are dishes of candy everywhere. It used to be that you got a chocolate egg on Easter, not the two weeks before and after. Ditto Halloween, Valentine’s and Christmas. I just want to raise kids who won’t be at risk for diabetes and obesity and who have a love for healthy foods.

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