One Bite Bar (6625-6636)

I stopped off at Whole Foods on my way home from the real grocery store where I do most of my shopping (King Soopers). But I like to get my meat at Whole Foods because it’s the closest place to get organic local meat that isn’t raised entirely on feedlots.

Everyone has to have their thing, right?

I also try to buy non-GMO and organic as well but I can get that at my regular store where I earn gas points. Woot!

I’m not a freak about organic/GMO, but I try. Lonny on the other hand is the kind of guy would would order extra GMO sprinkles and maintains that pesticides are good for you and make you live longer and score better on your SATs.


His father was a chemist by trade. Does that explain anything?

Anyway, we have ideological differences when it comes to food. He believes in science, and I do, too. But GMOs are simply too new to our world for me to willingly eat them, especially when it’s pretty easy to get food without them. Yay Boulder!

Lonny says there aren’t any solid scientific studies that prove there is any difference in the proteins found in GMO vs non-GMO. Okay. But what does Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Ireland, Austria, Hungary, Greece, Bulgaria, Luxembourg, France, Switzerland, India and Thailand know that has caused them to ban GMOs? FROM THE ENTIRE COUNTRY?


I’m not saying they are right, I’m saying that I’m uneasy enough about it to make my own choices. Lonny can yap about Golden Rice as much as he wants. As long I’m doing the shopping, we’re eating food that has stood the test of time, not one big science experiment with my kids as the lab rats.

Lonny, if you want to debate with me on this one, I’m sending Tabby in as my proxy. BOOM!

But I’m not trying to start a fight, at least not here.

I want to talk about the disgusting person that always takes one bite out of the raspberry bars and then puts it back. It’s so gross!

There is a self-serve bakery area at Whole Foods where you can buy vegan cookies and oat bars and shit like that and every time I go to get something, someone has taken one bite out of a raspberry bar and put it back.

Actual raspberry bar

Actual raspberry bar

People! That’s fucking gross!

I guess he/she thinks it’s not stealing, just sampling. But it is stealing, only worse. It’s wasteful. I snapped a picture and threw it away. I also decided to make the bars myself and save some money and aggravation. Does anyone have a good recipe?

Then today I saw this post on FB from The Naughty Norwegian Nanny

Screen Shot 2013-10-08 at 1.13.59 PM

At least I’m not the only person pissed off about people being inconsiderate and gross.

Speaking of inconsiderate, I asked NNN if she’d kindly swear at someone in Norwegian at this party I’m throwing in the near future. The parties tend to get out of hand and I plan on wearing almost nothing (because that’s what I do at Halloween) and she is really tall and I’ll bet she’s scary when she’s mad.

I’ve had a longstanding fantasy that some guy would get into a fight for me to preserve my “honor” (HAHAHAHAHA). It hasn’t happened yet so I’m calling out my pole dancing girlfriends.

And another thing, as I mentioned, I shall be wearing a skimpy outfit for Halloween and a friend, who is also going, was like, “I need to lose some weight RIGHT NOW if I’m going to that party. Do you want to do the Master Cleanse with me?” She was kind of kidding.


And I was like, “Bitch, you have the PERFECT BODY! What are you talking about?!” And she does. Seriously. I’m gonna find a picture of her, she’s ridiculous.

For a second I thought maybe I should tone down my skankiness or lose some weight because who couldn’t stand to lose ten pounds, right? But then I thought, FUCK THAT! I am so tired of every special occasion requiring some kind of weight loss. It’s some kind of screwed up American ritual.

My body isn’t going to get any better than it is. I’m going on 42 and in pretty good condition considering how most men my age have let themselves go (as evidenced by my high school reunion) I should be happy to simply maintain it for another 15 years.

I am a proponent of loving yourself, so why the ritual of self-hate? Why do I have to change myself for a party? Screw it.

I can bring the sexy, confident and awesome without no Master Cleanse.

Time to cut the crap.

3 thoughts on “One Bite Bar (6625-6636)

  1. That’s so gross. But now I’m going to feel compelled to check for one bite bars next time I’m at WF. I make some cashew and date bars that are pretty delicious. I’ve added cranberries, coconut, apples, and other stuff just to see how they come out. They’re better than Lara Bars but the same idea.

  2. Pingback: Supermarket Sampler | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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