I wrote a super whiny and dispirited post the other day and was ready to throw it up on the internet.
Yes, there were some disparaging remarks about my long-suffering husband but I was all depressed and felt the need to lash out publicly. That’s a good idea, right?
But then two things happened. He dragged a bunch of crap out of the garage to throw away, which kind of makes me look like an asshole for labeling him “part of the problem”.
How can I stay mad at you?
And then my fellow blogger (I mean, he used to blog but now he’s too lazy but he calls it being a doctor, whatever) called me up to give me a little rah-rah and lament at how his mega purging efforts have been completely undone by his family.
Perhaps crap everywhere is simply part and parcel of the marital condition?
Then he was all, “And I really love the way your husband is part of your blog. He’s a good sport.” and I started feeling bad about hating on Lonny.
So I pulled the plug on the angry post and decided to videotape him in the shower instead.
I figure it is only a matter of time before I get all depressed and pissed at everything in the world and need to inflict my suffering on others. Why not save some time?
I’ll post it when that happens because honestly, it’s always the same old shit that is getting on my nerves.
My only two pieces of marital advice to hand out are these:
1) Choose someone who is really easy going. I swear it has saved our marriage numerous times. And be easy going yourself, if you can, which I can’t but fortunately Lonny can. He is amazingly easy going.
Like today when I walked into the bathroom with my video phone. Did he get all mad at me for invading the inner sanctum that is the bathroom? No. Did he try to cover up his penis? No. (I edited that part out. You’re welcome). Did he get upset when he asked to see the video and I said, “Sure, you can see it when I post it on the internet.” No.
He also is letting Tabby’s dog sleep under the covers even if he does mutter something about “slimy dog” under his breath. He believes in World Peace.
2) You can be right or you can be happy.
Lonny did not want to get a kitten. But now he’s wrong and happy. See? I’m a fucking genius.
Time to cut the crap.