I woke up this morning to hear the drip, drip, drip of the leaky gutter outside my window, but for the first time in days I did not hear the falling rain. Hallelujah.
I don’t have any dramatic stories of perseverance and survival like many of friends (Pamcakes, are you okay? Please drop your kids off at my house today.) and I feel grateful and a little guilty that these last few days have been a relative cakewalk for us.
Looking at the news and internet updates, you would think that all of Boulder is screwed. The truth is, a lot of it is.
Neighborhoods have been devastated, people are sleeping in makeshift Red Cross shelters, property has been destroyed. The atmosphere is surreal, last night sirens and loudspeakers droned almost non-stop. People are walking around to survey the damage, some of them too stunned to react.
My neighbor across the street spent the day saying goodbye to ruined wedding photos and mementos of her past. Jamestown is leveled. Eldorado Canyon is leveled. Tim’s house was washed away. Like gone. Alan’s basement flooded and he took apart his washing machine to MacGyver together a sump pump from the parts. Chelsea was completely cut off from her home in Nederland and passed people kayaking down the streets just to get here. It’s shocking.
What is one to do but put your head down and get through the work and just feel what you are feeling and wait for it to pass?
I am fortunate that my greatest challenge is getting Blue to go outside relieve himself. He didn’t like the feeling of the slippery, sticky mud that is everywhere on his little princess paws.
This is from today’s walk through the neighborhood.
I guess there is another challenge: a persistent feeling of creeping dread. I’ve done the total house destruction thing before. I know what it is like to helplessly stand by while your home is destroyed before your eyes. I am grateful that it isn’t happening to me again but I feel shut down and tired.
I just want to hole up in my room and pretend that none of it is happening. I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to answer the phone, I want to bury my head in the sand.
It seems inappropriate and wrong to feel this way, but I do. Like anything else, I’ll count my blessings and try to be useful.
Again, no pictures of crap today, but maybe I’ll get some together before the day is through.