Big Flood and Total Idiots

Boulder flooded. Have you heard? I expect you have because when a wealthy American city being inconvenienced* seems to dominate the news cycle, even if casualties are relatively low, compared to, say, foreign wars, genocide, global warming and systematic rape. But I think I’m getting off on the wrong foot here.

(*Update: It’s more than inconvenienced. I’m being inconvenienced but some people’s houses and neighborhoods are being destroyed, mountain towns are leveled and lives are at risk. I am so sorry for them and grateful for my luck)

Suffice to say, it’s a lot of water and there is a good deal of damage. At least one person has died and there will be a ton of digging out to do.

All three of Lonny’s garages have flooded which is NOT GOOD given that merchandise that is currently on eBay is kept in there. My neighbor’s basement is flooded to the max and school is out.

While all this is going on, pictures of idiots cavorting in flooding underpasses circulate on the internet.


While first responders risk their lives to save people in unavoidable danger (trapped in houses), there are yokels out there putting themselves in harm’s way. YOLO!

(That’s You Only Live Once, dad)

You know who else only lives once? First responders.


This douche bag actually thinks he’s going to inner tube the Boulder Creek. What a fucking wanker.

This annoys me, too. Management companies that don’t manage their properties. It’s a sprinkler geyser after we’ve gotten seven inches of rain. Awesome.

This just annoys me. A sprinkler geyser.

This just annoys me. A sprinkler geyser.

My dad wanted to know how the flood has affected me. Well, the dog is pretty irritated that he hasn’t been on a proper walk for a couple days which makes him super chuffy. Then the phone rang at five in the morning with a robo-call from the school district to alert us that school is cancelled.

Well that sucks.

Especially since there is no school tomorrow because it is an “assessment day”. Another four day weekend not a month into school … who needs education? Really.

It’s bad luck and I’d rather everyone be safe than in school, but the irritable, peevish me is irritated and peeved.

When the phone rang it also woke up Chuffy and Testiclese. We suited up and took a walk outside to survey the damage. It wasn’t raining at the time.

Thanks to all my friends who have called and texted to check in us. Aside from having an extra annoying dog and stir crazy kids, we’re doing just fine.

Given that one of our basements is flooded and all three of the garages are wet, I’m taking a break from cutting the crap today. I have a feeling that we’ll have a big haul pretty soon.

22 thoughts on “Big Flood and Total Idiots

    • Aw, thanks! The only thing I’m going to suffer from is overeating. Let’s see, cauliflower and cheddar soup on the stove, home made ricotta cheese for lasagna tonight…

        • Not for the weak of heart. Excellent for the day after you’ve taken/taught three pole classes and you are starving to death.
          Eat a couple big bowls with bread and take a mega nap. True happiness.

          Cut up four strips of bacon and fry in a dutch oven.
          When fat is rendered, add one diced yellow and a couple cloves of diced garlic. Sauté until soft.
          Stir to coat 1/4 cup flour.
          Add one head of cauliflower (broken into small pieces) and two peeled and cubed potatoes.
          Cover with chicken stock, add a couple bay leaves, cover and simmer until everything is very soft and thickened. Blend 3/4 of the soup to make it creamy, or go at it with an immersion blender until creamy/chunky.
          Stir in some cream and about four cups of shredded cheddar. Season with salt and pepper.

  1. Thanks for sharing your perspective! Sucks about the damage you all will incur, but happy you’re safe. “YOLO” is on my most hated terms, along with “man cave,” “za” (short for pizza), and “chillaxin.”

  2. V, I’m so glad you and family are safe. Many thanks for your first hand account. I’ve been following some excellent video coverage on the website. I’ve never seen anything like it. One reporter from Boulder said folks were out jogging and bike riding! Should have anticipated it. LD (Love Dad)

  3. I thought of you this morning when I heard the news, thanks for the update. We had some serious flooding here last spring, water can do a remarkable amount of damage in a very short period of time. Sorry to hear about Lonny’s garages. You are right, you’ll probably have plenty to dump soon.

  4. I don’t watch the news, don’t have a tv signal, so I had no clue until I read your blog. Glad you’re all ok though. And it doesn’t surprise me all the idiots. I don’t know who said it, but there’s 3 absolutes in life. Death, taxes and stupidity!

  5. Wooowwww. We have had flooding problems in UT as well. Good thing I spent $25 fucking thousand dollars to keep my basement dry. My yard is flooded, my backyard is a swamp, and all of my neighbor’s basements are flooded… but I’m broke, and my basement is dry. I’m glad your house isn’t too bad though.

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