Emotional Truth (5157-5223)


School starts in two days.

48 hours

2,880 minutes

172,800 seconds

When I put it that way, it actually appears to be as long as it feels. It’s my emotional truth.

It doesn’t help that some of my friends have kids that in another district and their kids have been in school since last week. They are all glowy and happy and … free looking.

I pressed up against Lemony the other day just to see if I could get a contact high. No dice. Although I may have felt her boob against my boob. I’m not saying it happened. It may have happened.

God, you probably think I’m a perv. Guilty.

I like to revel in other people’s suffering when I get like this. For instance, Harmy, who is so excited for the ending of the financial bloodletting that is private preschool, who is anticipating the freedom that entering the public school system promises, now SHE has no idea.

Like, kids have to be school ON TIME and they have to get picked up ON TIME and you have to make them lunch or else listen to them wail about not having enough time to eat when they buy hot lunch, or the tyranny of the PROFESSIONAL DAY which means NO SCHOOL and always comes on the heels of a THREE DAY WEEKEND thus turning it into a FOUR DAY WEEKEND or how the school day doesn’t even remotely resemble an actual WORKING DAY and she’s going to have to figure out what to do with her kids for that other THREE HOURS which will involve MONEY, or the DREAD PTA trying to ROPE YOU INTO A FUNDRAISING COMMITTEE or being a ROOM PARENT or the absolutely, positively worst thing in the world CHAPERONING A FIELD TRIP where you have to be responsible for OTHER PEOPLE’S KIDS.

I feel better already.

Anyway, I was pondering a new schedule, one that would involve less writing and more living but then I thought, no. I’ve been keeping this up for what, nine months now and I just need to buck up and get the hell down to the basement.

Plus, I’m no quitter, like Jason for instance.

This would be so much easier with my sexy assistant around but she’s in Nebraska. Hell.

Enough whining. Time to cut the crap.

Despite my limp attitude, I actually got a pretty nice haul today. Lonny did a little damage himself. He better take me out for dinner.

19 thoughts on “Emotional Truth (5157-5223)

  1. 2 days? Lucky you. Here school doesn’t start till the 10th, of September! Well ok for Freshman, my daughter will be a Junior this year so she’ll start on the 11th. I am sooooo beyond ready.

    And I must be wierd cause I actually liked chaperoning when my kids were in Elementary and Middle school. It means I got to go too and for free. lol

      • What link? I think you see something different than I do. I just upgraded to premium WP which means you shouldn’t have to endure any ads, unless I put them there, which I haven’t.

        • Firefox upgraded recently and that’s when it started. So in my first comment above, the word start on the first line is linked. If I mouse over I get an ad thingy. It’s not your blog, it’s my browser. Damn you FF! Oh and I see a link in your post below too. Where you say it can get to 100 degrees inside, degrees is linked. Why it does it so randomly like this, I have no freaking clue. But it’s annoying. I don’t know if I can disable that either.

        • I see that on my computer in different places, too, although I don’t use Firefox. It always wants to look up words for me. No thanks, I know what “why” means.

        • I actually figured out the problem. It wasn’t Firefox at all. It was a rogue browser extention that as soon as I found it, I promptly got rid of it. So now more sudden wierd links.

    • You know, there is part of me that wishes they would start later because it is UNGODLY HOT right now and our schools don’t have any central cooling. It can get to 100 degrees inside! I feel like summer vacation starts before summer begins and ends before it is over.

      I think everyone has their own tolerances for chaos. Remember, I’m dealing with 1st and 3rd grade here, so field trips are CRAZY and I’m not remotely chill enough to deal!

  2. Who’s your sexy assistant? My favorite pic is the one with you in the fisheye mirror. I still firmly believe the world of public school will be better. I might actually get something done during that extra hour earlier I have to get them to school. But, you’ve been right about a lot of things before. Like that it was a bad idea to think I could work with my infant in a Moby Wrap (I mean Boba).

    • Oh no, I don’t want to be discouraging, just be prepared for a different set of obstacles to work around. I think you will find the school calendar perplexing, though. You are fortunate to have Erik to pinch hit!

  3. Two questions: 1. Did you use the mushroom lamp? It looks sort of dead human or something. 2. Did you use the Crocs bag as a tote? Be honest.
    And the best way to chaperone is to drive separately. That noisy bus is unbearable.

    • 1) I never used the lamp. I think it came from a garage sale (natch) 2) NEVER used the Crocs tote. Jesus, who would want a rubber bag? 3) Alt. Never chaperone. EVER. Unless it’s because Jane Goodall is in town or it is a sitting event. The zoo, the museum, forget it.

      • Ewww don’t think I could handle a museum but I loved it when we went to the zoo. Course there were so many parents who volunteered to chaperone that I only had my son and 2 other kids to watch over.

        • It’s not quite like that here. AND you need to get a background check! I got out of it for a couple of years by saying that I couldn’t pass one.

        • Crocs tote is rubber? Never thought of that. I might have used that if I knew it was rubber, but I would cover up that stupid crocodile. Background check at BVSD to chaperone? Jeez, I bet they make you pay for that.

Really? No way.

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