Nutty, Just Like My Ex (5146-5156)

Life is so full of delights. I took Testiclese to the grocery store with me this morning because he was up at 6am and had nothing to do. He’s a big fan of cheese and insists on perusing the cheese counter. Today he picked out a nice aged havarti with caraway. That’s my boy.

I like reading descriptions and I found this head scratcher.


It was stashed deep in a stack of cheese and whoever wrote it probably thought no one would be able to see or appreciate the humor. But I see you.

I wonder if the ex was a “crowd pleaser” as well as “nutty”. If I were to hazard I guess, he/she slept around on the cheesemonger and then freaked out when he/she got dumped. That could be my ex sticking it to me but I don’t think he works at King Soopers. Actually, I’m sure of it.

There’s a good story in there somewhere.

In other news, Blue (AKA “Big Foot”) is doing much better. Thank you to everyone  (Cindy, Ranee, Tabby) for all your good advice. Ranee, have you considered parlaying your degree in Classics to a career in being a pet EMT and pole dancer? Just sayin’. You’ve got mad skilz.

While his foot isn’t observably smaller*, he is favoring it less and demanding his 5:45a.m. walk again. I denied him this morning because I have an excuse to not get up  just to be sure. Also, I got a massage from Tabby yesterday and I can barely walk.

(*The vet said it would slowly return to its natural size and not to worry.)

My hip suddenly started bothering me, bad, and for no reason. It’s never been a problem before and I was lamenting this fact to Emily and she was like, “HAHAHAHA! You need a hip replacement!”

I swear, nothing makes me feel eighty years-old like trying to figure out how to use the fucking Comcast remote and having my hip hurt.

Me: Hell with these new fangled contraptions! I don’t need to watch TV! Why don’t they just have dials like when I was a kid! Damn it! My hip is acting up again!

Fear of a hip replacement gave me the stones I needed to get on Tabby’s table. She put the hurt on me good. “It’s your quad, not your hip,” she declared and I grit my teeth and went into that Lamaze breathing childbirth place for an hour. She’s a sadist.

But good news! My hip hurts less and although my thigh is fucking killing me. Better a muscle than a hip, that’s what I say. THANKS TABBY!

I have more training at the studio today so I’ve gotta fly. Maybe I’ll ask some nice parkour guy to do a shirtless trick. You know, for my readers.

Time to cut the crap.

It’s mostly stuff from my freezer this time. I had people over for dinner and got ticked that I couldn’t close the freezer door without rearranging stuff. Holy ….

6 thoughts on “Nutty, Just Like My Ex (5146-5156)

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