Crazy People Want to Sleep in My House (5127-5145)

Which makes sense because it looks like a house for crazy people.

We get a lot of gawkers poking around our house because it’s fun to look at. After the fire we made a choice to remodel the house in a fun and “artistic” way rather than going down the forest green and burgundy magazine Victorian road. And how.

We have murals on the porch ceilings, a giant photo of Betty Grable stuck to the wall, paintings of birds on the fence, a chicken coop, Lonny’s magnificent flowers

and of course, this freak show.

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Somehow we’re on the circuit for Boulder Walking Tours. They just love to bring the tourists by our house to show off our “local, organic orchard and free range chicken operation,” which is what they say loud enough for me to hear. More likely they say, “This is where the weirdos live,” when they are out of earshot. Whatev.

The tour smacks of desperation.

The tour smacks of desperation.

As a result, my home tends to resonate with those who don’t have much of a filter. A couple of years ago “Britt” left this on my door. No. I didn’t call her back and invite her to stay in my house in exchange for “snacks”.

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“Hello, Me is Britten. I just borrowed a pen from a lady having a salad to write you a note, which I hope you don’t find too off hand or crazy. I arrived to Evergreen with my boyfriend who just moved from Ann Arbor where I live in a 100+ year old farmers house with wild flowers all around. I miss home and I rode by your house while Brian had an appointment w/a client for somatic psychotherapy in Boulder today. I felt home mosey-ing through your Black Eyed Susans, green buckets and staring at the bathtub on the porch. The painting on the door spoke to me too the whole experience. Something I feel sometimes and know I better, WHY NOT, open my heart to it.  

Anyway, Im in Colorado until August 11th. Things are not working out w/Brian and I, and although I find the beautiful mountains and Evergreen lakes amazing/outstanding I believe Brian and I will only do well together for another handful of days. I wonder where to go. I’ll bike until I find it. He and I will go to Red Rocks for the Michael Franti show Saturday give big hugs and try to turn things Plutonic (sic). 

I know this is more than you need to know, but if it speaks to you to have a guest for a few days, I’d love to be a wonderful one and share what I can (art, singing, snacks, dollars). Im thinking Thursday the 5th for a couple of days. I’m crazy but oh so human. *Britt”

I love walking around swanky neighborhoods and looking at nice houses but never, not once, not never, did it ever occur to me to knock on the door or leave a note that asked to move in. Never.

Today I was cooking with the door open when I saw a woman standing on the sidewalk and gawking into the kitchen. I can’t tell you how many times this happens a day. I don’t mind too much or else I’d close the door.

It always surprises me when people don’t just move along after I’ve made eye contact and effectively caught them staring. They just continue gawking INTO MY HOUSE and commenting on whatever to whomever they happen to be walking with.

This time it was a solo woman who gave off that air of crazy from first glance. Why is that, I wonder?

Crazy Gawker: Hey there.

Me: Hey yourself.

Crazy Gawker: Is this a B&B?

Me: No.

Crazy Gawker: Well it sure looks like one.

Me: Weird.

Crazy Gawker: Oh. Well, do you know of any nearby?

Me: As a matter of fact, I do. The Bradley is just down the block.

Crazy Gawker: Do you think it’s expensive?

Me: Count on it.

Crazy Gawker: Well that’s what’s wrong with this town. It’s too damn expensive!

Me: Yep.

Crazy Gawker: Do you know of any cheap places to stay?

Me: In Boulder? Downtown? No.

Crazy Gawker: Back in the day so-and-so ran a place for cheap. Boulder’s gotten so expensive, it’s probably why he left.

Me: Probably.

Crazy Gawker: Too bad because I need a place to stay.

— crickets —

— uncomfortable silence —

I imagine that this is when I’m supposed to invite her to stay in my house, which in the past I was naive enough to take pity on her and do, but now? Not so much.

It started getting super awkward and I kept hoping Lonny would come outside and save my ass. He’s better and telling people that it’s time to move along than I am.

Fortunately she left and I was able to get back to my cooking.

Time to cut the crap.

8 thoughts on “Crazy People Want to Sleep in My House (5127-5145)

  1. That note, what a trip! I sat there and read the original handwritten before scrolling down a notch to see that you’d transcribed it. Among other things, it seems a perfect representation of the kind of people (bless their hearts) Boulder attracts. And collects. Think the woman knows your blog? Boy, if she did…so are you going to invite her to stay there or what? And what about poor Brian? Where’s he gonna go? I get it, you know; it’s all a different take on your house from what I’ve gotten when I’m there, i.e. as an invited and expected (not to say a paying) guest. We all get it, I think: your house and home IS magical in a really nice way, all of you guys i.e your family make it so. It is totally YOU. Can’t wait to drop in again. Till then…Love to you all…

    • This was from a few years ago, way before the advent of the blog. She left contact information and I looked her up on FB. I decided against reaching out to her, though. I don’t really need to take on anyone else’s relationship drama.

  2. When I started reading this post, I immediately started planning a mural for my porch… then I got to the letter…. and now I think I will leave it plain wood. 😉

    Seriously though, I love that you rebuilt your home “artistically” and the birds on the fence make me happy. Yay for your magical house – even if it does draw an unusual element!

    • I’m all for displays of public art. I wish more people would do it. I can’t tell you how many people walk by and comment on it to each other. There are so many new moms who make that fence a regular stop so they can talk to their babies about it. The pros outweigh the cons by far.

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