Chickens (4676-4686)

I have chickens on the brain. For one, Tabby’s chihuahua was bitten in the face by a rattlesnake the other day. Inexplicably she named him Popcorn Chicken but I just call him Chicky. Her other pets are named Werm, Mushroom, Pugs, The Cat, and The Other Cat.

Poor little Chicky weighs only five pounds and is smaller than Blue’s head (yet has a bigger penis, not that I’m looking).

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Just for scale, here’s Testiclese sitting next to Blue, the one with a tiny penis.

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Chicky, pre-bite, in Testiclese’s shirt.

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He looks like a Pitbull the day after he was bitten. Rattlesnake venom keeps blood from clotting, thus turning the skin black.

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He didn’t have a double chin before the bite, it is caused by swelling. Although if Tabby’s husband continues to feed Chicky ice cream and cheese out of guilt, he’ll have a permanent one.

How a rattlesnake got into Tabby’s yard is a mystery and she never actually saw the thing, but the swelling, blackening of his skin and the fact that it did not respond to Benedryl tells the vet that it was a Rattler. I can’t believe he’s still alive. GO CHICKY!

I’m so glad that little guy is going to make it. God knows what Tabby would replace him with and I shudder to think of what she would have named the poor creature. Maggot? Larva? Fungus? Phlegm?

Not to mention how nervous Tabby’s husband would get about her yearning for another addition to the family.  He gets kind of jumpy when she acts broody.

And the second thing (this is a meandering list) is my chicks (of the poultry variety) FINALLY started laying eggs. We got our first one today.

This is our second round of chickens since we started our coop co-op. I raised the first flock from day-old chicks and got my fill of sawdust and chicken poop in my bathtub.

When it was time to refresh the flock (I relocated the older ladies to a hobby farm) I was happy to buy some 4-H chickens that were ready to lay.

One of the co-op members expressed interest in raising chicks. I told her to knock herself out, feeling rather certain that one week of adorable yellow fluff-balls followed by eight weeks of loud and smelly teenagers would probably be all it takes for her to change her tune next time around. Which it did.

Look how cute they are! Not for long!

Look how cute they are! Not for long!

Anyway, they are finally starting to lay which reminds me of one of my greatest pleasures in the world (except for when Janet Jackson lost her top at the Superbowl which is still one of my most happiest memories, aside from the birth of my children of course) is getting a double yolker.

Don’t watch if you are offended by boobies, or don’t enjoy having a good laugh at a multi-millionaire’s expense. 

Whoops, there it is! Sorry.

Newly laying hens tend to produce abnormal eggs which include double yolkers. Without my cohort’s efforts, I wouldn’t be able to experience the wonder and surprise of two yolks in one. Stay tuned.

I’m accomplishing el zippo today but at least I’m not obsessively looking at an image of a guy with a 132 pound scrotum. Like someone I know but won’t name but is married to me.

Time to cut the crap.

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A metal rack that I am donating to the Vertical Fusion Boulder as well as a light fixture that we never used during the remodel. It’s my latest venture as I set foot outside my cluttered comfort zone of home.

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Stupid shit in a drawer. I know that Lonny will dig “Birding By Ear” out of the trash but why? Like he’s going to bust out his Walkman on an excursion? That’s what smartphones are for! Blank mini-cds that I will never use because I had to beg Stacey to dig one out of my drive once.  Someone else’s insoles. Yummy.  Oh, and lots of used toothbrushes, you can never have too many of those. TRASH.

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I have so much mustard in my fridge. People keep leaving it at my house. RECYCLE.

11 thoughts on “Chickens (4676-4686)

    • He’s so precious, I can’t believe he’s still alive but it looks like he’s going to make it. Which is good because I don’t know if I could handle Tabby falling apart on me. She’s the strong one!

    • Hooray for chickens! I seriously love them, even though I started my morning by raking out dried, powdered poop and dumping it in the compost pile. Worth it.

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