Tuesdays Are For Stupid Dog Videos (4835-4863)

Oh. Did you want to see a dog video? I know you are just dying to see Blue do something asinine. Here is a video of him satisfying his bloodlust for cantaloupe.

He’s such a weirdo. He could steal just about whatever he wants off the counter, it being snout level and all. The only thing he ever snuck was a bowl of cantaloupe. He’s walked by roasted chickens, cheese, sandwiches, cakes, Frank, you name it. He has a weakness for melon. I have a weakness for his flappy lips.

It makes me wonder if he is responsible for the rape of Lonny’s tomatoes.

Guilty?

Guilty?

The guilty are often seen lurking around the scene of the crime.

Lonny likes to annoy me by mugging with my dog. That is totally a posed photo and I don’t appreciate him using my dog to pick up women.

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I walked the vicious brute this morning and have been making a point of getting off the trail and pulling Blue’s head into my legs while the other dogs pass. This achieves the dual purposes of 1) distracting him from a possibly doggy confrontation and 2) by loving him up. But then he started licking my inner thighs and I was like, Whoa! That tickles! And now I feel weird.

Were he a “normal” dog he could just chill the fuck out and not prance around like an idiot when other dogs pass by, he would also be at a more socially acceptable knee level and I wouldn’t feel so dirty about my dog all of the sudden.

And no, Lemony, I did NOT smear my legs with bacon grease. That would probably throw you into some existential crisis given your current weakened state.

After the other dog(s) passed I had to wipe my legs off on his coat because he’s all … frothy … which also looks kind of strange. I have to stand on my toes and push my hips towards him so I can get a good wipe in while he’s trying to get away. Shawna about fell over laughing at how dumb I looked.

Yes. I am a clown and I am here to amuse you. I wonder if I am even capable of choosing normal situations for myself.

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This is a little schadenfreude for you. This lovely piece of “art” actually belongs to Pamcakes. Her son is in a camp with the boys where they make “art” out of “junk” to express their “creativity”. But her son is a hoarder and I’ll bet you ten dollars that he’s sleeping with this under his pillow tonight. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Time to cut the crap.

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Lonny must be bucking for some conjugal rights because he yanked this stupid stuff out of the garage for me. It’s all golf crap that I’m going to leave on my golfing friend’s porch. It’s business time baby!

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But if you want any of this stuff, let me know.

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Gloves, club covers, t’s, etc.

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This would be worse than finding a burning bag of dogshit on my porch.

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A tape deck. DONATE.

 

4 thoughts on “Tuesdays Are For Stupid Dog Videos (4835-4863)

  1. Schadenfreude eh?! I’m proud to say I didn’t even have to clock on the hyperlink definition as I’m all about schadenfreude, even if it’s at my expense. But the last laugh is on CMS as that lovely piece of art has gotten trapped there as part of the midday break…

    • Too bad you didn’t click, I was feeling rather smug about my cleverness. CMS has it coming after what they did to us at Pigfest. Speaking of, I heard Todd’s plan to own the BBQ Ho-down.

  2. So far I haven’t found one fruit of vegetable that my dog will eat. Meat? oh yes, but nothing else. I know other dogs like them, but when I hand him a bit of plant Hermes just looks at me like I played a mean trick on him.

    • The crazy dog lady who stole my chill pills said that Great Danes were bred to be vegetarians so they wouldn’t turn on their owners and eat them. You can take that piece of trivia with a pinch of salt.

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