Racist Comments & Other Matters of Great Importance (4811-4824)

Today I was called a racist.

I KNOW!!!!

I was at our usual coffee shop when an R&B song came on and I thought, “Hmm, that would be good for my class.” Since I didn’t have my phone to Shazam it, I looked around and noticed that a customer was singing along. I went up to him and said, “It looks like you know what song this is, do you know the name?” It was something by Eve.

I sat down and made a mental note. The owner of the placed walked by and I commented that his new employee dresses really nicely and adds a classy touch to the place. He was wearing a fedora, suspenders and nice trousers.

One of the regulars at the community table with me and Lonny said, “Well, those were two borderline racist interactions.”

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What? No! Some of my best friends are black! (haha) Just kidding, not really, well kinda, no, I mean, I happen to be very close with two out of the five people of color in this whole lily white town. NOT THAT IT MATTERS.

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I asked him to explain. He said that it was racist of me to ask the customer about the song because he’s black and I was assuming that he knew who the singer of the song was because it was a “black” song. I was all, “Uh, no. I asked him about the song because he was singing along and chances are that he knew the title because he knew the lyrics.” Duh.

Then he said it was racist of me to comment on the employee’s nice clothes because he is black, too, and somehow it is racial profiling to complement a black man on a fedora.

AS IF!

I’ll admit to complementing the barista on his clothes because he looked hot but it wasn’t because he was black. I just happen to dig hot black men, and hot Asian men, and Hispanic men, and hot bald white guys. I’ve also been known to ogle women of all races as well. OH MY GOD! I AM BIASED TOWARDS HOT PEOPLE! Fucking sue me.

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He wasn’t as hot as this guy, BUT I WON’T LET SOMEONE’S HOTNESS STOP ME FROM COMPLEMENTING HIS, um, PANTS!

Fortunately Lonny was there and I was like, “Am I losing my mind or is he completely talking out his ass?”

“That would be the butt, Bob.”

Ah Boulder, we are so concerned with being politically correct that we are paralyzed with fear. This dude has been here so long that he doesn’t know what an actual racist looks like. Perhaps he should turn on the news.

Here is something else that is bugging me.

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Pee-Pee Pooper Scooper? Don’t you mean Poo-Poo Pooper Scooper? This is irritating.

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And this hoppy looking little flower. What is it? Will it grown in a container? I want one for my yard!

Time to cut the crap.

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I was feeling all put upon as a stay-at-home mom as I endured another day at the park, getting jack-shit done and keeping my eye on my kids so they wouldn’t drown in the creek. But then I got home to see that Lonny had stripped Scrotus’s bed, vacuumed under the bunk and removed the last of the Flor tiles. That’s crappy work. The park wasn’t so bad in comparison. Thanks, babe.

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The last thing I need in this world is a Zombie Survival Guide. I am paranoid and prone to survivalist hoarding without scary works of fiction to fuel my flame. Maximum City and The Glass Palace were recommended by my prison pen-pal. I’m sorry man, I couldn’t get through them. He’s a lifer and reads some very interesting and dense books. Only rarely do our tastes intersect. SELL/DONATE.

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Another Whacky bites the dust, hence why I was in the pet section at the grocery store today getting incensed by stupid shit scooper brands. TRASH.

Featured image courtesy of www.therightperspective.org

35 thoughts on “Racist Comments & Other Matters of Great Importance (4811-4824)

  1. Hahaha! Oh, and a pox on anyone who would call you, of all people on this rock, a racist…As someone who has had her fair share of such, I can put that out there with confidence. Just sayin’…

    • I giggle a little to myself when I think of what you might have said to him. One of these days you will be in the room when this kind of thing goes down. It will be blogworthy.

  2. Sounds like the water boy had a lil projection thing going on there…music is universal…there is politically correct then there is asshole. Then there is pathological asshole and with them you can never win. It’s as if you said “Good Morning” you’d be racist, they’d accuse you of over-compensating for some ‘white guilt’…racism does exist but I hardly believe asking someone the name of a song and complimenting their style of dress is anything near racist. To the contrary methinks Water Boy didn’t like the fact you weren’t hiding under the table cause a brother was up in there…keep on smiling Vivienne…;)

    • It was actually rather light in tone. He wasn’t being hostile or anything, and I do kind of know him. It was just perplexing and strange. I’m glad Lonny was there to witness it and get a good laugh.

    • The cup coffee jerks have more of a punk rock/Madonna circa Desperately Seeking Susan vibe, which is why new guy stood out. His look is different every time. Have you been to Boxcar? Now THAT is a tweed and suspenders kind of place.

  3. We were discussing this just yesterday, how people don’t seem to know what “racist” means anymore. A friend of ours (Asian, Chinese) made a comment about some other folks she’d met that day (Asian, Indian) concerning the differences between their (Indian) culture and our (American) culture. Someone got all snippy and called her racist. So, we can’t even discuss the differences in cultures anymore?

    • Apparently not. I think energies would be best focused on what’s happening in our screwed up culture right now. People freak out over small, and often, innocent statements yet the Voting Rights Act gets gutted and Zimmerman goes free while a Marissa Alexander, a black Florida woman, gets 20 years for firing a warning shot into a wall to scare off her husband who was threatening her with violence. Now THAT makes me mad. And THAT is a matter of great importance!

  4. Your class? Soooo are you definitely teaching at the new studio? I want to get back to poling so badly… I’m hoping to start classes again! Very remedial classes! And I was of course thinking of checking out the new studio when it opens! I so wish she was going to do aerial there!

    I feel like there was something else non-racially-focused that I was going to comment on, but I can’t think of it now. I would love to see you & Blue one of these days!

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