Deep, Cleansing Breaths (4758-4767)

I’m in a vile mood. I’m giving everything the benefit of the doubt today and chalking it up to Mercury being in retrograde, not that I believe in astrology.


I’m trying to cut back on regret-inducing interactions and it seems that the only safe thing to do is to take a couple deep breaths and wait long enough to let whatever it is that’s pissing me off to pass.

Except for last night when Lemony came over and a certain friend of mine (who doesn’t read my blog, whew) showed up. I introduced them and he wanted to know how we met and I said, “I take pole classes at her studio and she is opening a new one in Boulder.”


“So you’re a POLE DANCER well lookie here, there’s a pole in the living room and I’ll bet you two dollars that you can’t show me something new and hey, once I was showing a house to a couple and there was a pole in the bedroom and the husband asked if there was something structurally wrong with the house because he thought it was a support beam and I explained to him what the pole was for and he said he’d take the house just as long as the pole stays so I bet because you are a pole studio owner, you don’t actually know how to pole dance (wink wink), you just do the scheduling and run the business and stuff but maybe you could prove me wrong and there was this one time when a flight attendant I was working with needed to make some more money so she asked me if I knew of any strip clubs so I took her to some and she really cleaned up and … lap dance … blah blah blaaaaaaaah.”

All I wanted to do to him while he made an ass out of himself.

All I wanted to do to him while he made an ass out of himself.

All I wanted to do was kick him in the balls so he’d SHUT THE FUCK UP but Lemony sat there and serenely indulged his stupidity until I finally cut in. “Uh, is this actually going anywhere?”

At which point he stopped fishing around for a demonstration/freebie and went looking for the kids.


I tried to explain to him the realities of pole dancing but it fell on deaf ears, although this cartoon nails it.

I love my friend. He’s not perfect (especially around women) but neither am I. I love his sense of humor. I love it that I can stop him mid-dumbass pick-up and he can laugh at himself. That said, I’m glad he doesn’t read my blog.

Time to cut the crap.


But first, a photo of Blue’s feet. Aren’t they cute? They are such compact little muffins! Sorry.


A guest left these and I was feeling rather peckish (irritated) and I eat when I’m irritated so I tried one. They are supposed to be salty AND sweet, as if sugar and salt weren’t THE major problems with the American diet. I tried one and let’s just say that they are sweeter than salty and I am not keeping these in my house.


Stained towels and rags for dirty jobs. But they are so gross looking that, even clean, I don’t want them in my cabinets. TRASH.


It has all its pieces (except for one blue penguin). The kids don’t play with it anymore and I would like to stop worrying about keeping all the penguins together. FREE.


Cariboo. It has all the pieces (just half of the box is missing) FREE.


Dog fur rake that doesn’t work on our dog.


A nightgown that I really liked that is coming apart. I kidded myself into thinking I’d mend it but I won’t. TRASH.

16 thoughts on “Deep, Cleansing Breaths (4758-4767)

  1. The dog comb will work on Poodle so you should keep it for when he comes to live with you……Sorry did I say Live with you….I must have meant stay with you for a little while,…..not live with you forever……

    Anyway he hates being groomed (probably because I am not the softest of groomers as you well know) and if he encroaches too much you can wield it at him.

  2. I think the reactions I get when I tell people I’m pole dancing are HILARIOUS. I wish I could snap a picture of the shock they exhibit, and then how they try and readjust their faces like, Oh, yeah, that’s a totally normal, cool thing to do and how they’d do it if there wasn’t a stick up their butt. Hehehe…new studio in Boulder, eh? I want more deets. And I can’t believe I just wrote “deets.”

    • Come to the opening!

      I am extremely excited and honored to be a part of a Vertical Fusion Pole Studio opening in Boulder. I plan on being there ALL THE TIME and maybe even teaching a class or two once I get my groove back.

      Please join in celebrating the opening of the third Vertical Fusion location. There will be performances, demonstrations, opportunities to meet the VF team, tour the APEX/Vertical Fusion facility, and win prizes!

      Sunday, Aug 11 @ 2:00 p.m.
      3850 Frontier Ave, Suite 250
      Boulder, CO
      (Located inside the APEX Movement gym.)
      Refreshments will be served.
      RSVPs are greatly appreciated.

  3. My favorite part of this article was Blue’s feet. Muffins!! I bet they smell like fritos. Take a sniff – tell me I’m wrong…
    xo Love you, Viv

  4. I bet Blue’s paws smell like fritos… I really hope they do, because then you could call them cute little frito muffins. (Much cuter than cat butts).

Leave a Reply