All this summertime fun is taking a toll on my house (and writing, and purging). I feel like we are gone all the time and before I know it the house reverts to its normal state of bursting at the seams.
Two things brought this fact to light recently. The other day a friend came by and said, “Wow, you must be busy. Your house is usually very tidy …” Granted, she stopped by unannounced (which is totally OK with me) whereas she usually comes over for dinner parties which gives me a day to shove everything around. Point taken.
The second moment of clarity came when I welcomed our new neighbors to the neighborhood with a plate of tasty empanadas.
They invited us in but begged us to excuse the mess. “We finally got everything out of the boxes but we’re still putting stuff away. This should make you feel good about your house, right?” Clearly she doesn’t read my blog.
At least they have an excuse for their house being (a little) messy. Me? I have no excuse.
Yesterday I had a major laundry crisis and did about a million loads at the laundromat (there was that much) and I got to enjoy some Christian WI-FI because my computer doesn’t like my Arris router and woke up today ready to face the sun room. But GOOD NEWS, the network password Jesuslovesyou might have healed my laptop because it’s working today. Hallelujah!
What’s that, you ask? Do I have another sun room because didn’t I already purge that room? Well, yes. But I have the destructive/hoarding force of two little boys working against me. This is serious shoveling during a snowstorm territory.
Phyllis Diller says it is futile to clean up while you have kids in the house but I maintain that if I don’t, I might not be able to open the doors one day; so I went to town. I hauled so much shit out of there!
This was no 10 minute purge, my friends. This was the big Kahuna. Given that I am going camping again (and won’t be able to post) and I never know when the solar flares will align so that my computer’s WI-FI card will decide to bestow me with internet, I’m posting it all now (80+ items!) rather than doling it out over a few days. You never know.
This picture came with a box of used Legos Lonny brought home, almost as if the newly Lego-less parents were thumbing their noses at me. Clearly this is their way of saying, “They’re your problem now.”
Shawn came by and it’s the first time I’ve seen him since the fire. I’m sending him back to Colorado Springs with boxes of kid’s toys for all the families who are rebuilding. I’m also sending him home with the gorgeous SOLID GOLD AND DIAMOND ring on his middle finger. Hopefully it won’t turn his finger green.
This is a knick-knack from our trip to Costa Rica a few years ago. It epitomizes tchotchke. It’s cute, was rather charming at the moment when I bought it, but now it plagues our house. DONATE.
A Lego set that has been forgotten and possesses very few useful cannibal pieces. Donate. (Count as 10 items)
Random crap including one of those Color Wonder pens that only work on special (and expensive) paper. This is to allow kids creativity (but not really) without getting their anal retentive mothers (such as myself) all worried about the furniture. I’m against all of it. A mess is better. TRASH.
One state is missing but it is otherwise a cool puzzle map. The only thing is that I’m the only one who ever puts it together after separating the pieces out from the pile of Legos. Fuck that. Donate.
This is a sadistic gift. Does anyone really need a train whistle? Or two as the case may be in my house? Donate.
A whole laundry basket of retired bedding. DONATE.
More busted crayons and junk. TRASH.
Vintage 45 record holder. Donate.
A Viewmaster projector, which seems so cool but never ever got used. Donate.
This is the coolest toy ever; you make up your own creatures and bugs. Harmy gave it to Testiclese a couple years ago but he’s not organized enough to enjoy it. That, or he has too many toys. Or both. Either way, it has been really challenging to keep all the pieces together so I’m going to donate it to a kid who doesn’t have any toys.
Recycle the boxes.
A knight costume. DONATE.
Western kid’s costume vest. DONATE
Viewmasters are great. Do you know what is even greater? Youtube. DONATE.
Solar powered car that is interesting exactly for as long as it takes to put it together, then it’s clutter. Legos are kind of the same deal ever since they went from being creative toys to overpriced one-time model kits. DONATE.
Little green Army men which mix in with all the Legos and make me want to kill myself. I realize that they don’t have the same effect on the boys, just me. But still. DONATE.
This is my bad. I learned how to tie my shoes in preschool but I am embarrassed to say that my boys suck at tying bows because of Velcro and shock cords. I should drill down on this but mornings are hard enough. DONATE.
Chess pieces. DONATE.
The boys are going to be so pissed about these but I’m hoping they won’t notice they are gone. They can think about how happy some kids with NOTHING will be when they get them. DONATE.
Tiny lamp. DONATE.
Wheels to go with the Viewmaster. DONATE.
This is what people buy when they are afraid their kids aren’t smart enough, then they never use them. These are all complete sets that Lonny picked up at garage sales. DONATE.
Lincoln Logs. I’m giving these to Jason. He’s a builder and is totally into this kind of toy for his kids. (Count as 10 items)
I uncovered this piece of a piñata that Scrotus got at a birthday party and found his secret stash. TRASH.
Shoes my boys have outgrown. DONATE.
Gift bags left by a tenant. TRASH.
This is all the stuff that is going to the Springs with Shawn, and never back into my sun room!