Better Oral Hygiene & Waking the Beast (Day 5)


It’s a slow news day which is perhaps the best news I can report. I’m sorry if all this great vacation stuff is boring you but I’m finding myself in the rarified situation of not being irritated at anyone.

Seriously, this never happens. If you prefer the pissed-off and stressed-out me, come back in a week for the drive home. I’m sure those posts will be chock-full of profanity and nihilistic rantings. Meanwhile I’m keeping my dad (Hi Dad!) posted on the what the grandkids are up to.

I’m feeling unusually chipper because have ample teenagers doing the majority of the heavy lifting, kid-wise. I’m starting to see why big families work.

Aren't these the best looking kids you've ever seen?

Aren’t these the best looking kids you’ve ever seen?

My sister-in-law arrived today (her name is Vivian and also Asian, how random is that?) with her teenage son, Georgetown bound in the fall. Go Perry!

New teenagers mean blood in the water for little kids. If Perry thought he was going to sleep-in on this vacation, he was wrong.

Also along for the ride is another kid, ten years-old. This is awesome, some fresh meat to break up the sibling rivalry!

I worried, as usual, that the chaos might turn Blue into Danger Dog so I doubled up his anti-anxiety meds as recommended by the vet. This put old Kabluey down. In the spirit of fraternities everywhere, we took this as an opportunity to do stuff to him in his sleep.

Once he came to, Zeb saw to his oral hygiene. He enjoys any activity that allows him to dominate the dog or cat. He takes unusual pleasure in it.

Zeb’s brother brought along another dog so now we’re up to three dogs in the house.

This might make me a small and mean person, but I love any dog or kid that makes mine look smart(er). This hardly ever happens in Blue’s case.

Oscar looking like a three-legged beggar in India.

Oscar looking like a three-legged beggar in India.

Oscar is some kind of Lab/Weimaraner/Pitt Bull mix and he makes Blue look like an intellectual giant.

He showed up and promptly crapped on the floor. Then he ran out to the dock and barked at the tied-up boat for about ten minutes. Then he jumped in the water and forgot how to swim.

I’m feeling all swoony about Blue now.

DSC_0150

Lookit Blue, all standing on the dock being super brave. Wooden planks – WET WOODEN PLANKS – are way scary to him. I never said he wasn’t stupid, but Oscar is stupider.

Another contributing factor to my extreme relaxation is my sister-in-law who is more talented than me. Actually, sisters-in-law, because they are both much more talented than me. They rule at the domestic thing (which everyone seems to think is so fucking special but it just means you work really hard all the time instead of being okay with eating fast food and ignoring the filth) AND they are both doctors which means they bring home the bacon, which I can’t do. And they knit. Which I also can’t do.

The boys got wind of this fact and started commissioning custom-made knitwear for their stuffed animals.

A tiny hippo wearing a knit coat.

A tiny hippo wearing a knit coat.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks Karen.

Sucka.

12 thoughts on “Better Oral Hygiene & Waking the Beast (Day 5)

    • Jesus, that was fast! That dog is dumber than dirt. I especially appreciate his laser-like focus whenever his “master” (and I put this in quotes because he snarled and bared his teeth at him when he tried to keep him from eating all of Blue’s food) eats. He follows him around, never breaking focus.

      • My oldest was 13 when I had my youngest who is 6 now. He was a huge help to me with the baby. It was an unplanned pregnancy, I had PPD bad and had no love at all for the baby’s father. So my oldest son is now almost 20, he’s great with kids. He knows how to take care of a baby, whether is feeding, changing diapers, you name it. I told him, he’s going to be a great dad some day.

        • Your son sounds like a gem. You did well, mama. PPD is horrible. I had a very nasty bout with it my second time around. I don’t think I will ever be quite the same.

        • I understand. I still struggle with depression. My youngest is mildly autistic and it’s hard to deal with some days. Plus his father and grandma lied, cheated and stole custody away from me. So now I only get to see my little boy every other weekend.

    • He always brushes his dog’s teeth. Actually, he’ll brush any dog’s teeth, even friend’s dogs. He insists you simply need to be firm about it.

Really? No way.

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