Search Engine Optimized (4345-4353)

OH HELL! This was supposed to post tomorrow. I’m taking Sunday off.

I take a peek at my stats regularly, just to see where my readers are coming from and what brought them to my blog. I’ve noticed, for instance, that my numbers drop off on the weekends, presumably because people aren’t actively trying to blow off work by fucking around on the internet. Good to know. I’ll save my mind blowing posts for the middle of the week.

Another thing that is really interesting is the search terms used that direct them to me. I scratched my head at this one:

fuck me hard with your big cock

I know that I say “fuck” a lot, it’s my most favorite modifier/adjective/verb/proper noun. Everyone uses “me” in their blogs because what are blogs about if not all about “me”. “Your” and “with” are common components of the English language, to say my dog is “big” is a vast understatement. The cock thing, well, I know where that came from.

I took the kids to the stock show in January where we enjoyed the chicken exhibit and I thought it would be funny to title the post “Loves Me Some Black Cock” with a really ugly picture of me standing next to a black rooster, aka cock. And ever since then I’ve gotten search terms like “I love black cock”, “fucking black cocks”, “giant cocks”, “big black guys fucking tiny Asians” etc. Oh come on, people!

It’s not like I’m not guilty of the embarrassing midnight Google searches, but we’re getting into drunk post territory. I’m going to save that reveal for another day.

Anyway, I wonder how long those surfers stay. Are they ever like, “I was looking for a black fetish chatroom or maybe some filthy pictures of corn-holing but wow, that recipe sure looks good! And what cute kids!” Prolly not.

Okay, onto other non-essential weekend topics. Greg noticed that I cut my hair (thanks for noticing!) I always get a big reaction whenever I get a cut but the funny part is that IT IS ALWAYS THE SAME CUT. I’m not switching it up people, I’m just tired of looking like this.


I love my haircut, and my hairdresser (Hi Penny!) but it gets out of hand very quickly. My hair grows super fast – I know, poor me – and this time around I think it grew two inches in two months. I cut my bangs – with trembling hands – a couple times between visits to Penny and the end result was, well, choppy.

If I plan on making any major life changes, I promise to consult all of you first.

Time to cut the crap.

We planted the garden a couple weeks ago yet the cartons they came in still linger, trashing up my yard.


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