I Give A Shit! (4299-4313)

My folks just left and I was determined to enjoy some “me” time. On Sundays that means reading the New York Times Sunday Magazine, like I used to back in the day.

On the cover was this article by Michael Pollan about the beneficial bacteria inside us and how our war against bacteria is harming our immune system and overall health. This is all good news to me. I appreciate any research that reinforces my filthy lifestyle and allows me to feel superior to anyone who has a cleaner house than mine.

Hear that Sara? You suck!

One of the many things he wrote about is the use of fecal transplants to restore proper bacteria to the lower intestine. A donor’s poop feces is shoved up transplanted into the poor sucker’s recipient’s bunghole rectum as treatment for Clostridium Difficile Infection (CDI) or C. Diff. Usually the donor is a healthy relative, but think of the opportunities for one to give back!

144 fecal transplant www.onecoolfact.com

I give blood on a regular basis and I could add this to my list of philanthropic endeavors. I want to make a button and a bumper sticker.

GIVE A SHIT: BECOME A FECAL DONOR

or

I GIVE A SHIT!

What do you think?

Fine. Time to cut the crap. HAAAAAAAA!!!

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This is my garage. Scratch that. Zeb’s garage. I know.

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Girl’s Crocs and a helmet that doesn’t fit. DONATE.

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I found a pile of my clothes in the garage, I have no idea why. DONATE.

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Filthy tub and strings. TRASH.

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Rag rugs. TRASH.

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Some clothes I used to like but are now stained from being in the garage. The skirts were my favorite. I really have no idea how they got there. They weren’t even in a box! TRASH.

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Plastic, pamphlets, plastic string. TRASH.

Featured image courtesy of Andrea Levy, The Plain Dealer

10 thoughts on “I Give A Shit! (4299-4313)

  1. This is good news. I can start to ‘Give a Shit” physically to make up for all the Shits that I dont give mentally. Nice!
    I will go to heaven after all!

  2. Ok that’s just repulsive. I mean even if studies proved that inserting some skinny person’s poop inside my ass would guarantee a weight loss, I still wouldn’t do that. That’s just gross!

    • Well, the weight loss thing is extreme but it has more to do with insulin disorders and all that goes with it than just wanting to lose weight. I had to run with it, tho. Would you expect any less from me?

      On a side note, I am not remotely as grossed out by poop than most. My “work” involves cleaning my guest’s toilets, I have two boys and a Great Dane. I have been thoroughly desensitized. I’d rather not get any on me. Or in me. Unless it got there by means of natural digestion. I have many freaky tics but poop is not one!

  3. Pingback: Il trapianto di cacca! | Fisiologia lieve

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