My folks just left and I was determined to enjoy some “me” time. On Sundays that means reading the New York Times Sunday Magazine, like I used to back in the day.
On the cover was this article by Michael Pollan about the beneficial bacteria inside us and how our war against bacteria is harming our immune system and overall health. This is all good news to me. I appreciate any research that reinforces my filthy lifestyle and allows me to feel superior to anyone who has a cleaner house than mine.
Hear that Sara? You suck!
One of the many things he wrote about is the use of fecal transplants to restore proper bacteria to the lower intestine. A donor’s
poop feces is shoved up transplanted into the poor sucker’s recipient’s bunghole rectum as treatment for Clostridium Difficile Infection (CDI) or C. Diff. Usually the donor is a healthy relative, but think of the opportunities for one to give back!
I give blood on a regular basis and I could add this to my list of philanthropic endeavors. I want to make a button and a bumper sticker.
GIVE A SHIT: BECOME A FECAL DONOR
I GIVE A SHIT!
What do you think?
Fine. Time to cut the crap. HAAAAAAAA!!!
This is my garage. Scratch that. Zeb’s garage. I know.
Girl’s Crocs and a helmet that doesn’t fit. DONATE.
I found a pile of my clothes in the garage, I have no idea why. DONATE.
Filthy tub and strings. TRASH.
Rag rugs. TRASH.
Some clothes I used to like but are now stained from being in the garage. The skirts were my favorite. I really have no idea how they got there. They weren’t even in a box! TRASH.
Plastic, pamphlets, plastic string. TRASH.
Featured image courtesy of Andrea Levy, The Plain Dealer