Under the Weather

This post is for Cindy because she noticed that I haven’t posted today. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know that someone out there is reading (who isn’t my dad, Hi Dad!) and looks forward to whatever my brain manages to spit up.

My habit is is to prepare the blog the day before and set it to post at 6am the next morning. This gives me at least a day to edit it (surprised?) and mull over my choice of words but yesterday I got caught up in a creative project.

These photos have been sitting on my desktop for several months now.

Seymore Black Dress 2 Seymore Black Dress1

I love the dress Stephanie Seymore is wearing so I saved the imaged to my desktop to remind me to make it when the weather warmed up. It’s nagging clutter, even though it’s electronic, and a great motivator.

I’ve been sewing for over 20 years but I really prefer to use patterns. This was a mixture of pattern, draping and winging it. The end result turned out okay, but the main problems are:

1) I used a linen blend and I think Stephanie’s dress – actually I know because she’s filthy rich – must be silk, so mine doesn’t hang the same way.

2) She’s Stephanie Seymore (former supermodel and Victoria’s Secret Angel) and I’m me. No angel.

Dress Front

I’m not in the French Riveria, either.

Dress Back

I spend the majority of the day and night working on the project, and even a little of this morning. There were some nagging problems that I had to sleep on. The net of it is that I didn’t write anything but I have something to write about.

As you may already know, I rent portions of my house out to paying guests. I have varying levels of interaction with them. Some really want to chat and get to know me, some I never even meet. I have two parties in my house right now.

One party is a woman and her niece who is here to check out Naropa. She is gaga for big dogs and told me her reason for renting from me is Blue. She just loooooves big dogs. She somehow managed to miss him during the day and stopped by to say hello before heading up for the night. He gave her the extra special treatment of responding to her affections by throwing up on her foot. I thought it was pretty funny but I haven’t seen her since.

The other guests are here for a convention of some sort. Yesterday, while I was sewing, I got a text along the lines of, “Can I borrow a jigger. Given that you have a pole in your house, it’s safe to assume you have a few extras laying around.”

Wow. That’s an interesting assumption and also an admission that he’s a peeping Tom. I guess he didn’t know that bartending isn’t part of the pole curriculum, but whatever. I texted back, not knowing the difference between a jigger and shakers, “I don’t have one but I can give you a lidded jar that will probably work.”

He then enlightened me as to the difference between a jigger (measuring device) and a shaker (shaking device). I told him to come on down, I’m sure I could find something. But what an idiot. Just pour the booze in until it tastes right.

He showed up at my door and I invited him in past the kids, the dog, the sewing project and, yes, the pole. I have him a small glass and he said, “So, what’s the story with your pole?” As if me not responding to his first foray into the subject wasn’t hint enough.

“I teach pole dance.”

He looked a little disappointed, like he wanted to know more. But really, where did he think this conversation was going to go? Even I, Queen of Oblivion, can read a situation and backpedal when I realize I’ve got it wrong, but this guy kept persisting. I guess he was hoping I would say, “I’m a stripper and give free lap dances to all my paying guests.” Or not, maybe he’s just clueless.

I don’t have any crap to cut right now, unless you count the two pictures of Stephanie Seymore on my desktop. Some people think electronic clutter counts, but I think it would be a cop-out. I’m not feeling well right now (Can you tell? I couldn’t even work up a good head of hatred for the nosey parker upstairs), I’m not sure what it is but I’m writing this while on my back and I’m actually feeling a little better. Maybe I just need a nap.

Here’s a cute picture of Zeb. It was Take Your Chicken To The Park Day.


6 thoughts on “Under the Weather

  1. You did a great job with that dress! And I always read your blog first thing in the morning, while I’m still in bed going through my phone trying to wake up, so know that there’s at least two of us who notice when you don’t post! 🙂

  2. I read your blog faithfully every single day. If that email notification didn’t show up in my inbox letting me know there was a new post, I would definitely miss it.

  3. You know the “who wore it better” comparisons? I’d pick you over Stephanie Seymore in a second…what a talent! I couldn’t sew my way out of a wet paper bag…or more specifically…I couldn’t sew a bag. to begin with. Well done…and I would have missed the post also.

  4. I’m sure Stephanie Seymour is a nice person. But looks-wise, she always struck me as a skeletal parody of a beautiful woman. From what I see there, that’s how she still looks. I suppose the dress does “drape” nicely on her (still a nice person, after all), but my vote is that you look better in yours. So there.

  5. Glad you’re okay. Is it terrible to say that when you eliminate all your crap I’ll be sad? I have to eliminate plenty, as well, so I really understand but maybe you can find another focus for a daily blog.

    • You are the sweetest thing in the world. Never fear, you will get tired of my self-involved ramblings WAAAAY before I run out of shit to get rid of.

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