Only Users Lose Drugs (2646-2655)

Uncle Casey has a very dry sense of humor. He considers himself responsible for the boys’ education and insists on reading giving them “the classics” like this Edward Gorey book of poetry called The Gashlycrumb Tinies. It’s an alphabet book with a little poem for each letter, and each about how some kid died. Like Z, for instance.


Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

Mommy’s what’s gin?

It’s alcohol, I sometimes drink gin.

But it will KILL you!

Well, yes and no. It will kill you if you drink a lot at once, or if you get drunk and drive and get in a fiery car crash, or if you drink a bunch and then call your ex and then you will wish you were dead, or if you drink some every day but not enough to kill you right then, and end up damaging your liver and then dying. So it can kill you, but not always. So you have to be careful about alcohol because it can be dangerous and it is ONLY FOR ADULTS. Now that we’re talking about it, I’m not sure why anyone drinks it.

And right there and then, I talked myself out of drinking. Until later tonight when I’m sure someone will talk me back into it.

Then, GOOD NEWS, I got continue the substance abuse conversation just minutes later when Scrotus picked up a blue cylinder on the way to school.


Hey you stoner out there! Thanks for dropping this on the sidewalk a block away from my elementary school! It was awesome having the drug talk this morning. Not. And look at the size of that fucking thing! There is one tiny ball of hash in there. Was it full at one point? Holy shit that’s a lot of hash!

Scrote: Hey, look what I found!

Me: What the heck is that? Lemme see. (snatching it away)

Oh shit. It’s weed!

Testy: Is that a rock in it?

Me: No son, it’s marijuana. (hash to be more specific)

Recreational marijuana just became legal in Boulder so I figured it’s time to have the talk. We actually talk about drugs and alcohol all the time. We lost a family member to a drug related incident which provides us with ample opportunities to drive the point home about how high the stakes are with any kind of drug be it alcohol, cigarettes or the illegal stuff. Given that Boulder stoners seem to be as incapable of keeping their stash in their pockets as my kids are of keeping food in their mouths when they eat (seriously, how hard can it be?) we might as well talk about it.

I opened it up and invited them to smell it. Unless you are into pot, weed does not smell good, unlike tobacco which can smell very sweet. They wrinkled their noses.

Me: This is marijuana and this is what it smells like, kind of like a skunk. Some adults smoke or eat it because they are very sick and it makes them feel better. Some use it because it makes them feel relaxed, like small amounts of alcohol. Like alcohol, you can make some very bad decisions while using it. It is for grownups only. Do you have any questions?

Scrotus: Can I keep the container?

I don’t have any problem with pot, I think it’s a pretty tame drug compared to what else is out there, legal or otherwise. But it really bums me out when people leave it where kids can get it. I’d be just as pissed about seeing a bottle of Mad Dog on the street. Today they might want to talk about it and fixate on the cool container. In a few years they might want to burn one down, if you know what I mean.

I suppose it is asking too much of drug users to be responsible with their drugs, but really.

Time to cut the crap.


I have mixed feelings about Lego catalogues. I was told at an early literacy workshop that you should let kids read what interests them and they are interested Lego catalogues. I like the way they read like comic books but they always lead to the inevitable desire for MORE LEGOS, which we don’t need. They read them, put the screws to me for whatever $130 set (which I refused) and now I’m RECYCLING the catalogues. The Old Maid is getting DONATED because I would rather teach them how to play Gin (speaking of gin) and this wooden wind chime has been sitting in the sun room for years, DONATE.

Oh! And FYI, I just topped 2650 which means I am less than 1000 items away from my original goal of 3650, but I’m not going to stop until the year is up, and I might not even stop then.

12 thoughts on “Only Users Lose Drugs (2646-2655)

  1. I don’t think it’s too much to ask of users to “be responsible with their drugs,” particularly for those of us who believe that drug use should be decriminalized. Too much to expect, maybe–but no, not too much to ask. And sooner or later, re. explaining this stuff to the boys, you’ll find yourself having the discussion about hypocrisy and inconsistency in drug laws & other public policy, assuming they don’t figure it out for themselves first. (BTW, yes I am in Montana; having had a few blissful days away from all electronica this week, this morning I’m catching up what I’ve missed here.)

    • Yup. What you said. I wish I could remember exactly what Pamcakes said to her older kids about drugs.

      Stay away from anything that is instantly addictive or can kill you by doing it one time, or can ruin your life or create a new one (yes, I realize alcohol falls into this category). And injectables, NEVER do them.

      Once you rule all those out, pretty much all that is left is pot. Yes, I am for legalizing it but there should be a little decorum around it as well. Right now everyone is giddy and smoking down everywhere.

      • Yep, basically what she said. Including ALCOHOL, in caps for major emphasis. Everyone’s smoking openly now that CO has legalized it? Well sure, but that’s probably more true of Boulder than, say, Colorado Springs? At this point it is a socio-political experiment being tried in CO & WA, and we’ll see how things work out from here.

  2. Ah yes… my three rules/expectations of high school and college (hell, middle school) – don’t try anything that will addict you instantly/permanently, don’t kill yourself from stupidity/testosterone/etc and don’t accidentally create another human. I set a high bar for my boys.

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  4. I just need to say that I love the Gashlycrumb Tinies and everything Edward Gorey. Have you read The Hapless Child? SO good!

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