Not For the Weak of Stomach (2602-2612)


I’m having second thoughts about today’s post about my dog and getting rid of stuff. It might be going too far. Sorry.

No one believes me when I tell them how disgusting Blue is. Whenever we’re out and about people marvel about how he is so “majestic” and “elegant” and “handsome”. We walked past a line of people waiting to get into the Boulder International Film Festival and a ripple of oohs and ahhs followed us. My eyes rolled.

A couple people ducked out of line to follow us. “Can we pet your beautiful dog?”

Even though I’ve had him almost a year, I’m still wary of overwhelming him with strangers. My answer is always the same. Sure, just let him come to you. So they stood there with their hands outstretched and being all goo-goo-ga-ga when he stopped, sized them up, and let loose the biggest most human burp you’ve ever heard. I should teach him how to burp the alphabet and clean up on youtube.

It’s unbelievably hard to capture Blue burping on video. Usually he rips one in my ear while I’m driving. I did, however, catch this lovely piece of history today while Zeb was torturing playing with him.

This is your final warning. It’s gross, he throws up some slime after drinking water. And before you get all freaked out, Zeb is yanking on his tail. HIS TAIL!

Oh hell, never mind. I’m having too much trepidation about it. It’s not as bad my dad’s friend who thought it was hilarious to let her dog entertain the guests by humping her foot (to completion I might add) but it just might be one of those things that no one else would find remotely entertaining. My followers (hi Pam!) are a pretty hardy bunch but still.

And we wonder why he’s so neurotic. It must be a quirk of the breed.

Time to cut the crap. Today I ventured into my coat closet. Lately it has become Frank’s domain. He’s been back ever since Jody’s boyfriend got a dog but he still has not gotten used to having big dummy around. It is, as Tabby says, rammed full of stuff.

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Lookie here! I found a bag of shoes that don’t fit the kids. Someone gave me the kid Uggs, which are too big, and while I am not prissy about used clothing, wearing used Uggs feels like putting on someone’s dirty socks. The other shoes are too small. DONATE.

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Also in the bag of shoes were all these caps. I’ll give Zeb the collectible ones (they were his to begin with) and the rest are getting donated.

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A rubber ducky and one of those mesh sponge things. TRASH.

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This is Zeb’s desk. He has the problem, not me!

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Just a little cat hair from the floor of my closet. Clearly Frank slept on this bag. I made some more space for him on the floor, swept it out and put an old towel down for him. I swear my house is clean. I vacuum daily. Really I do!

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A little tote bag (I mean little) that I picked up at a garage sale because it was cute and only cost 50¢. Even though I have never used it, it is still hard to get rid of because it is tiny and cute. DONATE.

22 thoughts on “Not For the Weak of Stomach (2602-2612)

  1. Oh come on, please?! If you post the video I’ll try to one up you with a disgusting dog video I took last night….

  2. Didn’t scare me off. I got a laugh from today’s post plus both videos though yes the second one is much more gross then the first. I would never ever let a dog stick their tongue in my mouth, for any reason, you do know they lick their butts with those tongues right? lol

      • So the only video I have is from when I first moved in to my house almost 7 years ago. Rider was just a puppy. I went out with some friends & I fed Rider first.. when we came home he stealthily barfed it all up… I literally turned around & there was the biggest, most solid vomit log I have ever seen in my life. And ever want to see. I was so horrified. The video is all me freaking out and my friends dying of laughter as I literally use a shovel to remove the vomit from my house. Worst. Thing. Ever. My dog has been working on Making Me Look Good in Front of Others for years. Why anyone video-ed that experience I have no idea.

  3. Ha! I can TOP this! We rescued an adult female Dane a long time ago. Since she was a rescue most of her health history was a mystery. The rescue we got her from must’ve just assumed she had been spayed…guess how we discovered she wasn’t. That’s RIGHT! She started her big old’ great Dane period all over my beautiful white duvet ….. I’d take a stinky Dane burp over THAT any day! Has he had a cold with big snotty sneezes yet? 🙂

      • As I’m sure you know, Danes are said to be notoriously emotional, and when my son was born, the crying freaked her out BAD and she would cower in the corner. He was a cryer, so poor Sadie spent a lot of time hiding from the shrieks and sobs. We wound up giving her to neighbors who let her share the bed and fed her blueberry pancakes. (Which had to result in some impressive Great Dane poop, no?) The fave memory of our big girl was when we ran a quick errand and came back to the neighbors all standing in the street and pointing at our house. Of course we panicked and thought the place was on fire… nope, our big Great Dane was sitting on the roof waiting for us after having busted out the screen window just above. Have FUN, they have as much personality as they do size!! 🙂

    • Oh my God. Pugs. I’ve sat a pug before. I would take her on a long walk and she’d get home and immediately pee on the carpet. I hear that is common behavior. They are evil geniuses. Well, maybe not genius, but definitely evil.

Really? No way.

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