Recession Porn (2536-2582)

Cato loves watching Toy Hunter and Pawn Stars while he plows through piles of Zeb’s junk valuable merchandise. The craze started with the Antiques Roadshow. It’s called Recession Porn and I understand the allure. These are lean times and most everyone is carrying outstanding debt or could use some extra cabbage. Who wouldn’t love to believe that in some closet or nook is a treasure that will make all your financial woes go away, and with little or no effort?

That’s the rub, you see. I don’t have time for TV but Cato likes to have it on in the background while he works. I’ve snuck a few peeks while passing through the room and have been profoundly underwhelmed. The Toy Hunter dude goes to someone’s house, buys a collectible toy for $40 and sells it for $75 for a whopping $35 profit.

By my accounting he drove out there, dickered with the owner and endured some lame story about how much the toy meant to him, blah, blah, blah, trucked it back to his office, took pictures, listed it on eBay, monitored the auction and then packed and shipped it off. He has to cover his eBay, Paypal and shipping fees, make rent on his office, pay his employee that wears too much make-up (I seriously doubt she dresses up that much when the cameras aren’t there) and suddenly $35 doesn’t seem like that much. And in fact, his sexy, free-wheeling existence that people love to watch on TV is surprisingly job-like.

Oh my God. Shut up!

Oh my God. Shut up!

Welcome to my world, or rather Zeb’s. Everyone goes, “Oh wow! You do eBay!” like it is some kind of magical money tree and want to know how to get a piece of that action, kind of like pole dancing makes me interesting for about five seconds. They want to hear about money falling from the sky not about the hard work, the endless aggravation that comes with dealing with kooky eBay buyers, or the challenges of storing mountains of shit inventory in your house because if you rent space, your bottom line is affected. They act like there is some secret to his success. There is and I’ll share it with you.

Zeb works damn hard and all the time.

He never gets off work unless I physically remove him from the house. If it weren’t for Cato (who works like he is chained to the desk but truly, he makes his own hours) and Minion, I don’t know what we would do. When I hear speculation about collections in basements that might pay for college tuitions, I kind of sigh. I’ve entertained those dreams over and over again. It happens, but probably not to me.

I wish everyone had a jackpot in their house just waiting to be found; but the truth is the only thing that gets the bills paid is hard work. The best way to avoid debt is to stop mindless spending and learn how to fill the void with activity, charity, vocation, simple pleasures, friends and family; not cruising the sale racks.

The best thing this project has done for me (so far) is it has broken me of the vicious cycle of spending and accumulation. You can give yourself this gift, too. You can start today but cutting the crap.

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More of my grandmother’s glasses. Tabby loves handmade things so I’m giving them to her. With all my handmade dishes, we’ve reached load capacity for kitchen wear that doesn’t stack.

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These were Testy’s favorite jeans for two weeks, then he grew out of them.

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Bath salts, and not the kind you snort. Or maybe you could but I think it would really sting.

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These salts turn the water green. Like really green. Like you can’t see your hand in the water.

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I found these mixed in with the salts. I worried that the salts would taint the flavor, but they didn’t. They are a tad dry from storage, though. I’m not a huge chocolate eater. Anyone want to cook with them?

Featured image courtesy of dougpc.tumblr.com

8 thoughts on “Recession Porn (2536-2582)

  1. seriously?! you want a fight on your hands? Chocolate!!!!

    But- I want to give chocolate out at the end of the blind yoga class that we are doing- (thats a tax deductible donation ;))

  2. F-ing publish button. I meant to save it for the morning. The chocolate is yours. It expired last year (no big deal) and is a little dry, but it tastes, well, like chocolate. I’m going to extort 15 minutes of agony from you in exchange.

  3. “The best thing this project has done for me (so far) is it has broken me of the vicious cycle of spending and accumulation.”

    See, reading about your project has done the same for me too. Every weekend for the past two months, I’ve considered going to the mall (because there has to be something I need!?), only to think that nah, I don’t want to buy new stuff since I’ll only have to get rid of it at some point anyway. Reading your blog is basically saving me money. Next time we’re at the same bar, I’m buying you a drink.

  4. Pingback: Overshare | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

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