We got another snowstorm yesterday, thank God, which meant I had two things on my agenda. One, go to the grocery store and stock up on milk and bread because that’s what you’re supposed to do and two, take the boys sledding. We have friends who live in the foothills and they always get more snow than we do.
Jason bought an igloo making device two years ago and because of global warming, this was his first opportunity to try it out. Did I mention I live in Colorado? Climate change. It’s happening.
I like going to Jason’s house because the more time they spend with him, the less likely they will ever be victimized by bullies. He toughens them up. If someone ain’t crying, he’s not playing hard enough. This goes for water fights, dodgeball, stick fights, snowball wars and pine cone ambushes.
I told him Scrotus got into a scrap with a younger (but big) kid. I didn’t see it happen but the kid was gripping his stomach and wailing on the ground and Scrote had a bloody lip. The other kid’s mom wasn’t phased so I figured that someone started it and someone finished it, they both paid. But upon reflection I felt that Scrote should have shown more restraint because he was the older of the two. I should have made him apologize.
To this Jason was like, “Why?” and I was all, “Because fighting isn’t okay! That shit will get you thrown out of school.” but Jason came back with, “You might get thrown out of school but you will never regret getting in the last punch.”
What? So you’ll forever regret not getting the last lick but you won’t regret getting thrown out of school? Like that won’t have greater long-term ramifications? We could go around in circles about this one for hours.
And this is why it is so important to have a positive male influence in your child’s life.
Okay. Time to cut the crap.
I got a call back from the owner of Absolute Vinyl today. I left a message a week ago and then called his shop because I was hot to trot. The woman at the store was quick to dismiss me and I don’t blame her, she probably talks to dozens of people a day with nothing but junk. She advised me to bring in a box of my records in and I was like … but … there’s … so … much…
Doug has seen the basement and knows that there are some gems amidst all the crap. He’s seen this kind of thing before and had a good strategy. I’ll load enough crates to fill Doug’s van and he’ll take them to his shop to sort and sell. Then he’ll come back for the next load until we’re done. This will keep Zeb from having to figure out what is worth carting to the shop. All he has to do is decide what he wants to keep. Not too much, I hope.
See? Another row cleared.
Is it the abs? The overly tight cut-off shorts? The zebra print leather jacket? The long hair? This guy is totally my boyfriend.
Every Picture Tells a Story Okay. Then why did Rod pick this picture? Is his head supposed to look like a cro-magnon’s? If I was commissioning someone to paint a picture me, I’d be mighty ticked if I came back looking like someone out of Clan of the Cave Bear.
Do you ever wonder what Christy Brinkley’s nightmares look like? Now you know.
Carly Simon looks fine in this picture.
I’m afraid of getting radiation poisoning from the picture of his fake tan. Jesus. Is he still alive? How?
Richard Simmons. Yes, we have a Richard Simmons album. Doug called Zeb an “indiscriminate” collector. Exhibit A.
Do these guys know that Mili Vanilli know cribbed their style? Are they okay with it?