Trapped in the Kitchen (2209-2224)


I’m trapped in the kitchen. I blame the dog.

He’s had chronic buttsplotions since we got back from LA in January despite (and maybe because of) two rounds of antibiotics. I’ve been reduced to preparing a special “bland diet” of rice, ground turkey, yogurt, pumpkin and yams. The giant batches I made would feed me for two weeks but Blue needs about 3,000 calories a day so I just try to keep up. If this doesn’t work I’m going to make jerky out of him.

As usual, the guys are so helpful. After dinner last night Scrotus said, “Dinner was delicious, except I for the times I almost threw up.” and Zeb helped out by putting away the leftovers.

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That’s awesome. Can you see how the surface tension of the sauce is keeping it from spilling over the top? And the lid isn’t on yet. So helpful. Thanks.

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And the bacon, again, thank you. I’m sure folding over the shredded plastic edge and shoving it back in the box will keep it ever so fresh.

And it’s Cato’s birthday! I got up early to start the lemon cake. He works so hard for us and I wanted to do something to show my appreciation. And we’re having people over for dinner, which is why I am trapped cooking. So on that note, I decide to cut the crap in the kitchen.

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The space above the pantry. Alcohol keeps forever, right?

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The space above the cabinets. I can’t bring myself to get rid of the booby mugs, or the Snapple box aptly labeled “really old Mason jars”. But that salad spinner? GONE.

IMG_2535What lies above the cabinets: A vintage milkshake maker which gives me an electric shock every time I use it but I’M KEEPING IT because it’s classic Americana. I’m also keeping the coffee vacuum pots and the Jetson’s hors d’oeuvres servers. I just thought I’d show you the underbelly of my kitchen. Well what the fuck am I going to get rid of, then?

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This stuff. All 26 items, baby.


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Large pasta bowls from Crate and Barrel. My house is overrun with dishes that I make in class. Why use nesting bowls that don’t tip over when you’ve got amateurish pottery? $1 each.

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Salad spinner. See? I got rid of something from up top. FREE.

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Empty booze bottles. It’s time to let go of my college-esque decorating aesthetic. Wow? You drank ALL THAT? You are so cool! The bitters are how old? What do you use them for? GONE.

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Flasks. I have a couple really beautiful ones so I’m getting rid of these. They are $5 each.

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I am not getting rid of this one. I LOVE this flask. I took it with me for a snort of whiskey after riding horses with this guy who had 17 polo ponies. I rode for him every day. I loved riding and talking about horses and watching the sunset with a little nip of brown liquor while horses chewed on our heads, but I got tired of the relentless sexual harassment. I’m keeping the flask and the memories.

IMG_2541We have at least three sets of these books. Zeb LOVES them. FREE.

Featured image courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/elvispayne/285074420/

10 thoughts on “Trapped in the Kitchen (2209-2224)

  1. boy, a little testy this morning (pun noted, not intended) but I see your point. If it would help, I’ll take that Courvoisier off your hands.

  2. Hi Vivien – I’ve just learned about you & your project (from the Huffington post). You are a true inspiration. I just completed my sixth day. I started in the tiny corner of my house that I call mine, my bedroom closet. It serves as a holder of my clothes, my husbands clothes, my knitting room & my scrapbook room. And it’s not even a walk in closet. But with five people in a three bedroom house, that’s how we roll. Thank you for your encouragement, that reclaiming my *entire* house is a possibility!

    Claire.

    • I’m so glad you found me! (Haha about the Huffington Post. Don’t tease me.) Start in the small spaces. Heck, your whole house is just a series of small spaces. Ten items. I promise to post pictures that will make you feel really good about your life.

  3. Pingback: Dirty Jokes and Fight Club (2225-2327) | Vivienne's Process of Elimination

  4. On behalf of my Mother – who called me and said she wanted to comment but cannot work out how:
    “Keep the salad spinner as you never know when it will come in handy”

    I pointed out to her that she is totally missing the point of the blog with this, but she seems quite adement that salad spinners are a valuable resource- even if you already have two others.

    • We need to have a talk about your mother. Is her kitchen rammed with salad spinners? There are these things called thrift stores that are brimming with them. But I appreciate her concerned.

  5. No- shes pretty minimalist- for that reason she has trouble with the concept that anything in someones house would not be needed, so I think she worries that if you throw away the salad spinner you will stop washing your salad and eat all the nasty pesticides….I have assured her that you buy organic…..

Really? No way.

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