Don’t Play With Your Food (Items 2032-2043)

It happened again! I was walking Big Blue on the Sanitas trail and talking to my BFF in NYC (hi Elizabeth!) when a woman came around the bend with four (4) smallish dogs off leash. No biggie, it’s a Green Tag area so you can have unleashed dogs provided they are under sight and voice control.

I did what I always do when I see an unleashed dog approach, I pulled over to the side, held Blue’s leash right under his chin and (since I was on the phone) I looked at the owner and shook my head. As in, “Please don’t come over here.” My body language was crystal clear.


Her dog came running up to Blue and he started to buck around because he’s excitable (we’re working on it) and she said, “Can my dogs come over?” like she’s fucking blind or something. I say, “No thank you.” and she says, “Oh, he’s mean. Sorry babies, that dog is mean!” And I’m like, “And you are a goddamn moron!”

I didn’t actually say that.

I thought it was common knowledge that if a dog was on leash, your unleashed dog shouldn’t approach. If he wanted to play, if he could play, if his owner thought it would be a good idea to play, he wouldn’t be on a leash. Then there is that whole unleashed vs. leashed dynamic that always goes bad. Doesn’t anyone watch Caesar?

Part of me is fine with him being labeled as mean, as long as she and her four (4) dogs stay away. But I bristle because he isn’t mean and what’s up with getting all judgy on my dog?!? He’s a big puppy who needs more training. He’s a rescue dog that is kind of fucked up. Deepak Chopra says it’s because I’m neurotic. Whatever! He is what he is and we’re just trying to go for a walk!

If I say he’s not mean she’ll be all, “My dogs love to play, let him go,” and I’ll be all, “Okaaay, if you say so,” and he’ll charge on over because he’s super excited big idiot and her dogs will yelp and shriek and she’ll freak out on me and tell me to keep my dog on a leash.

Which is why he’s on a leash. I seriously can’t win in this situation.

This has happened so many times that I don’t believe anyone when they say that their dog likes to play. They might be down with the running of the bulls, but probably not. I don’t think he would ever hurt another dog but it is my job to make sure nothing bad happens. Just in case. You’re welcome!

Blue plays regularly with Tabby’s runts and they don’t take any shit from him. He chases them and they snap and snarl and show him who’s boss, and they keep coming back for more. But he can’t do this with just any dog, I know this so I keep him on a leash.

Cato said that I need to come up with a good comeback, in addition to, “My dog has herpes.”

He said I should say, “I don’t like my dog to play with his food.” I’m totally using that.


Wool for needle felting. My friend Tiffany is one of the most creative people I know and she got me into needle felting. Click to watch the video, FYI, that isn’t me or Tiffany. I always get in way over my head and I bought all this wool to do projects because the colors were pretty and I had tons of great ideas … and no time. I did the same with beading and my friend Lauren. I get so inspired that I jump in and buy the supplies prematurely. I’m selling the whole lot for $25. Get it here before I put it on eBay.


I made a bunny in an egg for Easter and a pastry. I was inspired by the work of a Japanese woman who makes beautiful confections out of felt. I’m keeping the book, selling the felt. The egg and the cream roll are mine.


Just a little follow-up from Zeb’s purging. Look how spacious? Is that a storage container I see? Doesn’t he frown on those? How did that happen? Too bad he doesn’t read my blog because I find organized cabinets to be a powerful aphrodisiac.


I haven’t worn this sun hat for years, because I feel like it makes me look like a gaucho. Zeb said, “What a nice hat, you should keep it.” so I put it on and he said, “You look like an Equadorian farmer.” Exactly. FREE.

11 thoughts on “Don’t Play With Your Food (Items 2032-2043)

  1. One of these days I want to read a blog post where you actually bit back at someone acting stupid around your dog! Try it – you’d be amazed at how good it feels to say exactly what you think without worrying about the consequences;)

  2. Ugh, I know exactly how you feel on the dog thing.

    With Rider (my Ridgeback) people can be so dumb- they will see him & be like “OH he is ANGRY” because he has his ridge.. I’m like damn people.. it’s a ridge, his hackles are not raised, and he is wagging his tail and grinning like a fool. Come on.

    I ALWAYS keep Roxy on a leash around other dogs- I try to explain to people that it’s because though she is super-friendly, she plays ROUGH. I’m trying to be polite, knowing my dog’s personality, and knowing that she would overwhelm a smaller dog. But people are just rude about it & talk amongst themselves about how I must have a mean dog & that’s why she is on the leash. And when I go to the dog park and have them in the (empty, because god forbid people with small dogs go in the small dog park) small dog area to be crazy, people always come to the fence and try to convince me that I should let their little dog come play with Roxy. I just want to scream. She isn’t MEAN or aggressive! She is just wacko and loves to growl and wrestle and trample other dogs!

    • Seriously! Why do people have be all judgy and label the dogs? What’s up with that? Why can’t they just say, “Ok” and walk on by? I realize it is MY ego that is being wounded (Blue doesn’t care) but still. Must they feel superior? Is that it? We should go walking together soon.

      • Totally! I can only gleefully imagine the terror experienced by someone coming up upon 4 giant dogs acting like maniacs together. Just kidding, I doubt I’d bring them all, I’m not THAT crazy… maybe 😉 I hope Athena finds a home soon, but maybe Blue would like to play with another hyper Great Dane.. ha!

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