I Will Be Very Depressed Tomorrow (2022-2031)

***Sorry if it was hard to get to this post. I tried doing one little thing with WordPress and the whole fucking thing blew up. Now some of my domain names don’t work and everything is linking all over the place in some infinite loop. I hate technology. Hopefully it will be better soon. Thanks for your patience.***

I was interviewed by Aimee Heckel from the Boulder Daily Camera for an upcoming locals profile. I can’t tell you how much fun it was to talk to her. Not only because she is giving me exposure, but because she was so psyched about my project. I think my project strikes a chord with lots of people, hence my whopping 13 followers!

One of her questions was about how to start. I’m going big with this project but most people don’t have the time or energy to turn it into a part-time job. You need to make reasonable goal, set a means for accountability and create a reward. She set a realistic goal: fill up one big box of random stuff and chuck it on Sunday, as in OUT OF THE HOUSE. I’m holding her accountable by writing about it – much to her surprise – SURPRISE Aimee! And I’m sweetening the deal by dangling the creepy monkey as a reward.

Aimee, if you get rid of one big box a week for a whole month, the monkey is yours!

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What could possibly be more motivating?

What’s my reward? You mean beside living in a house that doesn’t piss me off and not feeling like loser all the time? A southeast Asia trip with my family, prepaid. I better get selling on eBay if that is ever going to happen.

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Today I’m kicking back and letting Zeb do the work. I’m kicking back in a figurative sense, it makes me crazy having my kitchen colonized. It started when I tried to vacuum the kitchen this morning. I commented that the vacuum wasn’t working well so Zeb looked for a new vacuum bag. They live in the only kitchen cabinet I haven’t purged. The last frontier.

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This is a great illustration of why it is hard to do a whole house purge. Before Zeb went looking for a vacuum bag, everything was shoved behind a door. To the naked eye there was no problem. But once Zeb dug into it, the problem became huge and out in the open and impossible to ignore, much like therapy. Unless you are Zeb, he can tune out almost any chaos … and therapists. He’s lost steam on the project and almost every surface is covered with stuff. I’m sure there will be a plaintive post from me tomorrow.

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Vacuum bag anyone? Of all these bags he didn’t find the right one. I’m not sure what he’s going to do with these. I know what I would do. Zeb picks these up at estate sales to go with the vacuums he also gets at estate sales. But then he got the Miele and I will never use another vacuum again. He had the nerve, THE NERVE, tell me to never by another AA bag again. Like I’ve ever bought a vacuum bag. Pfah.

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This is leaving the house, but is probably going to end up in the garage.

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More gardening gloves, a Cone of Shame for Frank (I’m going to cone him up tonight, just for giggles), and a knee brace.

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Lots and lots of chemicals. There isn’t a chemical out there that Zeb doesn’t like. Me? I like organic gardening. Opposites attract.

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I believe I detect a little glow. I’m going to count it as 10 since I didn’t do it myself. It’s more like 100.

6 thoughts on “I Will Be Very Depressed Tomorrow (2022-2031)

  1. I’m wondering what I’m doing here this morning. just trying it out, I guess. feels altogether different from our normal back & forth. I’ve never liked writing in these little boxes.

    I am meditating on your face right now. how extremely cute you look in that bathtub photo! & that monkey, wow! lucky Aimee…

    • I have two monkeys, you know. That picture was taken this weekend by a great photographer I met by chance. No eye bags, no jowls, no nothin! I wish I always looked like that.

  2. Love this!!! I started purging four years ago and have absolutely no regrets. The day my mother announced she would no longer be sending me tchotchkes (aka “heirlooms”) because, “you’ll just throw it away”, was celebrated with leaps and bounds throughout my crisp clean little uncluttered living room. With the exception of my husband there’s nothing in life that I can’t live without and that’s a very good thing (I do still love Martha). And I have to say that I’m so excited for your experience to be featured in the DC. This town needs a fresh perspective on minimalism. As it stands right now wearing the same fleece three years in a row is all about wallet inspired self righteousness and has nothing to do with a clear house and a carefree head… of course the other majority assumes you’re just to poor to have things. God bless their precious little noggins. Seriously, thanks for sharing your story, I’m already a huge fan!

    • Geez, thanks! I would love to see a sea change in how we relate to the world, how we perceive love and celebration. One of my sons said, “This boy’s dad loves him so much that he bought him a $1000 toy.” and I had to help him think about what he had said. I told him that the boy’s dad had a lot of money and could afford such a toy. But what if the parents were poor, does that mean they couldn’t love their kids as much? We don’t celebrate any holidays without candy, sweets, disposable toys, party favors, etc. It is such a shame. Pleasure of owning something precious is diluted by the sheer quantity. I’m glad to know I’m not alone out here! Spread the word!

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