Paper Hoarder (2170-2197)

I’m driving out to visit an elderly friend to help her clear out her basement. It turns out that her husband is a paper hoarder. I had no idea. Newspapers, magazines, mail, those pamphlets at hotels that advertise local attractions … he saves them all. This was a huge surprise to me because I model […]

The Best (Worst) Anxiety Dream Ever (2150-2169)

I’m going to start with the junk before I expose my innermost anxieties; mostly because this was one long-ass dream and who gives a shit, really? But for the connoisseurs of the subconscious, it has it all as far as anxiety dreams go: water, dead pets, uncomfortable sexuality, never-ending stairs that go down, lost voice, fear […]

Dip, House Fires and Practical Jokes (2116-2149)

These aren’t mine. The belong to Aimee, my newest devotee in the cult of minimalism. She asked for my mobile number because she wanted to “send me a picture.” Sexting! Yay! I’ve always wanted to see her boobies! Instead she sent me pictures of her junk. Even better. She’s gearing up for the anger/hatred that […]

Flow Chart (2103-2115)

Yesterday was a big day with my coverage in the Daily Camera. I got spoiled by having my 1000+ hits and it kind of threw me. However, my main purpose even if no one reads my blog is to get rid of stuff and gain back my life. I didn’t get rid of anything new but I […]

Today, The Daily Camera. Tomorrow, the Huffington Post!

My Blog in the Paper! Aimee Heckel wrote this great piece about me in the Boulder Daily Camera! Thanks Aimee! Now where’s that picture of your box of junk? I might just have to stick a pin in Mr. Monkey if you don’t produce the proof.


I work from home, walk my dog all the time, pick up my kids from school, clear out crap and write at my desk. Guess how I dress? I sometimes get it up for drop-off and then coffee with Zeb, but after that I am back to my work uniform of comfortable clothes. My self-image […]

Dog Sitting (2094-2102)

Day Two of taking care of Pugsly. He is an odd little dog and though I barely tolerate adore him (especially on walks when he tires out Blue) I’m having a hard time figuring out why people like small dogs. Except for the small poop, small teeth, small food bill and cuteness factor, they are a […]

Ice Anemone (2069-2084)

I stopped for some day-olds from The Breadworks and spotted this little miracle. The spray had come off the hubcap of this car just so and made this wonderful pattern in ice. I didn’t have a camera so I left a note on the windshield to point out this beauty and ask the owner to email […]

Race Car Bed (2059-2068)

Blue never gets on the furniture. Almost never. He doesn’t look at the couches with any interest but he sleeps on Testiclese’s bed. I don’t know why he got in bed that first night but he’s pretty much called dibs on it. It was okay at first but as the dog gets fatter and the […]