Loves Me Some Black Cock (1394-1416)

It’s a late post for me today because I took the kids to the National Western Stock Show and Super Dogs performance. I am a sucker for the stock show although I don’t relish pondering the fate of the lovely animals. I ate a vegan sack lunch in protest. I find stock shows to be a profoundly vegetarian experience but I love walking around, taking in the sheepherding dog trials, looking at the vast array of crazy shit to buy. Fringed leather handbag with rivets? Tempting …

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I loves me some black cock!

Then there is the humanity freak-show. Towards the end of Super Dogs I witnessed many a melt-down, staved off by the endless forking over of money for sweets to appease overtired children by equally overtired parents. My friend pointed out that everything costs $5 at the stock show, be it a hotdog, cotton candy or soda. That’s some pricey corn syrup.

Just in case you are laboring under the belief that my shit doesn’t stink ….

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PSYCHED!

I let my kids have cotton candy once a year at the stock show. I love site-specific guilty pleasures. You can eat all the cotton candy you want. At the stock show. Which we go to once a year. Never say never.

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Many of the dogs in Super Dogs were rescued, it got me thinking that I could start my own show with Blue. It goes like this. I’ll drag him into the arena, he’ll have a nervous break-down in the corner and then take a giant dump. I’ll call it Stupid Dogs.

Speaking of freak shows, a friend wants my family to go to an all-inclusive resort with his family. I’m more of the trekking, hostel, street food type, but kids are a game changer. He started in on the hard sell. “You don’t have to cook or shop for food, there’s lots of water activities for the kids, the beach, a kids’ club…” and I was all,

“SHUT UP! Just … shut up! You had me at you don’t have to cook.”

I’ve never been to one before but I know what to expect, lots of shitty food and Wall-E like tourists, but as long as I can get beans, rice, vegetables and fresh fruit, I’m happy.

I came home to a new set glasses for the kitchen that Zeb got at a thrift store. Hey! They all match! Out with the old and in with the new.

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23 items that I collected in the minutes after we got home, while I was cooking dinner. BAM!

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I found these searching for a backpack in one of my vintage suitcases. The crazy lady who stole my Ativan also stole my backpack, and Testiclese’s and Alan’s. Who knows what all she stole. Aaargh. Anyway I found these wraps I wore when I was in an African dance company in college. What, you say? I’m not black? Offensive. FREE.

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These fucking towels have been sitting on my radiator for-ev-er. FREE.

IMG_1372Glassware. FREE.

IMG_1373 I made this little skirt (hits lower thigh, size 4). It is super cute but I am too old for this.

IMG_1374I made these little knickers for the Renaissance Faire two summers ago, they will fit a 4 year-old. It’s even more expensive than the stock show but you can get any kind of food on a stick.

IMG_1376 I wore this little shift all the time when Zeb and I were courting. He loved it on me, it was very Mia Farrow and I adored wearing it in the summer. I felt so free and in love. Size 6-8. FREE.

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This is a similarly awesome dress I made. Pull on, size 6-8. FREE.

7 thoughts on “Loves Me Some Black Cock (1394-1416)

  1. All Inclusives are pretty nice when you get the right one. Justin and I are going to one in Cancun over spring break, and it was worth paying extra for having someone serve me drinks on the beach all day without having to worry about bringing cash:)

    • My thoughts exactly. It isn’t a bad deal since the kids stay free. I want to be able to point them at the buffet line whenever they squawk for food and not stress about what the do or do not eat.

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  3. I am totally up for any vacation where I don’t have to do anything. Otherwise, it’s not a vacation to me. I love the skirt you made. I am sure you look adorable in it. And I love the blog title, of course – ’cause that’s the kind of gal I am. 😉 Happy summer!

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