Items 1033-1050 & Going Full Bobby

I have a really good looking friend. His hair is perfect, stubble just so, sharp dresser, ultra bright smile, good jawline, the works. But when I show up for coffee with his wife (total babe) on a Sunday morning around 11am, it’s like he’s a different person. His beautiful locks are pulled into a strange top-knot, he’s in baggy sweats and a college t-shirt that is so thin you can see through it, and he looks like he smells. I wouldn’t know because I keep my distance when he’s having one of those days. I call it going Full Bobby.

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Bobby, looking good. Me, so psyched that we match and really excited to eat at Yai Thai!

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Where’s Bobby’s equally gorgeous wife? Flirting with Lonny, natch. We get a kick out of taking Fake Family pictures.

Today I went Full Bobby. Imagine it, because I’m not posting a picture: Green sweatpants that are a couple inches too short, white socks, black clogs, sweatshirt and uncombed hair. That whole outfit should get chucked. I rolled out of bed and straight to the vet to drop off a stool sample. Go ahead and fill in the blanks.

I don’t know what’s with me but I don’t think I’m the only going through it. I’ve gotten a couple emails from friends expressing similar ennui and the otherwise hot trainer at the gym (I’m running out my last 30 days) rockin’ a do-rag and a shaggy beard that makes him look like Grizzly Adams. I’m gonna give myself a week to snap out of it.

I usually default to cheese and crackers, shopping and listlessness when I get in this mood – or rather I want to – but I’m good at bucking up. So despite my Full-Bobby-Fuck-It-All appearance, I managed to be productive. I almost set my scanner on fire clearing my desk, I took some stuff to a consignment store (which irritated me because they rejected stuff that I bought there), didn’t buy anything, and went to the gym. I might look like a loser, but I’m not acting like one.

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Outgrown slippers, water shoes, and stupid trainers that you can’t relace without hemostats and a valium. DONATE.

IMG_1086 Fake Coonskin caps and a sunhat. FREE.

IMG_1087 Really pricey Smartwool socks that are too small for Micah. I’m giving them to a friend.

IMG_1088 Art supplies and projects. Tabby? Amy? Anyone?

IMG_1089 Body crayons. FREE.

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Whoopie cushion, parakeet feathers Micah gathered at a friend’s house, tea light holders. TRASH.

2 thoughts on “Items 1033-1050 & Going Full Bobby

  1. On Sunday, I went to Target with greasy hair and I was in sweat pants I wore two or three sizes ago (why are they still here?). I should have worn some slippers and gone for the Full Bobby. No can do the art supplies…I have a thing about velvet art and not allowing it near…me. 😉

    • Excellent Full Bobby. Sometimes you just gotta wallow in it. Funny thing about you and velvet art. Bobby was just saying that what his office is missing is a very classy oil on velvet painting. No, he isn’t a mechanic.

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