Stewardess Strike (now with feeling)

(I had to repost this because WordPress has a real problem with writing over some posts with others. It’s really annoying me and I’ve gotten into the habit of saving my text onto my desktop. It’s BS that I should have to anticipate this problem. To my 12 followers, I apologize.)

flight-attendantWe drove from Grand Junction to Salt Lake City to see my father and step-mother. The boys discovered that their worthless MP3 players have almost equally worthless cameras on them, but they are taken with the fact that they can take pictures of their own. It’s not taking up space on my chip, so why not?

Lonny gets motion sick so he usually drives. For the most part I am okay with this arrangement, but I tire of playing the stewardess. I’m feeling more harried than a first class flight attendant dealing with a cabin full of entitled pricks. Don’t dwell too much on my choice of words.

Pretzels or peanuts? Would you like the keep the can?

Pretzels or peanuts? Would you like the keep the can?

I dropped my stuffed animal. I don’t want my gum anymore. I can’t hear the story. The sun is in my eyes. Here, take this trash. I don’t like the snacks, don’t you have anything else? Ad. Nauseum.

Don’t think I take this shit. I don’t. If someone hands me something they are capable of dealing with themselves, I huck it back. If someone says, “I’ll have some more crackers and cheese.” I respond with the stink-eye and How about a please and thank you? At our last stop I slid into the driver’s seat and smirked as Lonny fielded demands. I even held my hand out to receive a cup of coffee that I expected to magically appear. Heh heh.

Two of my best friends joined us for dinner and I spent the evening catching up as our kids tore around the house like maniacs. My guys have been cooped up in adult-land for over a week, seeing no other kids than each other. I met my longest-time friend when we were pre-school age and have been friends ever since. She married my husband’s brother the same month my marriage dissolved. It was unfortunate timing.

We weathered the storm but I regret ruining her honeymoon and royally complicating relations with the in-laws. I can’t believe that she stood by me all this time. It’s challenging to get our kids together; they didn’t remember each other yet they plugged right in and forged an instant friendship the way only kids can. We had visions of raising our children together, not sneaking visits past disapproving relatives, but I’ll gladly take whatever I can get. Hopefully the kids will escape the past.


My other friend is very into Burning Man. She’ll probably be pissed at me for describing it that way because Burning Man isn’t something you are into, it’s a way of life, an altered state, a tribe, a religion, a reason to live for the rest of the year, etc. Her husband is ticked at me because she told him I called it Flaming Idiot. I’M SORRY I DISSED YOUR RELIGION, KIRK! I WAS KIDDING. Geez.

She’s been on me to go for ages and I want to go but I have limits, such as I don’t have $5000 and months of prep time to spare. Why? Because I have kids and clearly she doesn’t. I have no doubt that Burning Man is the experience of a lifetime, but so is having a family. Some people can manage it all, but they don’t have panic attacks that end them up in the ER. Now if my dad rents a Winnebago and lets me tag along next time he goes …

How we make up after squabbling about Burning Man and how if I knew what I was missing, I'd find the time and money.

How we make up after squabbling about Burning Man and how if I knew what I was missing, I’d find the time and money.

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