One Degree of Bacon Separation


I couldn’t talk to my friend for a couple weeks after she decided to leave Boulder and return to her beloved L.A. I was that upset. In two years we had gotten very close and I took the move a little personally because it is always about me. Since then we’ve visited them a couple times and they’ve been out to see us, our friendship remains intact. Actually, the pied-a-terres in Boulder and LA have worked out quite nicely.

I never understood why she was so attached to Smell-A until today. It was one of those bluebird days where the temperature – at it’s absolute coldest – was sweatshirt worthy and it was clear enough to see all the way to the ocean. We walked from her house to the Griffith Observatory, calling dibs on the nicest houses and marveling at the incredible diversity of flora and fauna.

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What a day! It’s always like this, right?

We made the trek with the kids, presumably to get some exercise and burn off some manic energy. We crested the Glendower stairway in the midst of a major kid meltdown when a trio of people with a dog passed by. I make a point of complementing every dog I see because it puts the owners at ease but I skipped this one because of the histrionics in the background. They smiled at me and I gave them a tight-lipped grin without a glimmer of recognition when Jennifer started coughing and elbowing me. I knew I was missing something.

I took a closer look at the now retreating people and the woman looked back and it was KYRA FUCKING SEDGWICK and she was walking with KEVIN FUCKING BACON and their daughter SOSIE! Kevin Bacon smiled at me and I didn’t even realize it! And I was wearing slacks, surrounded by stupid kids! GOD!!!!!

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They looked exactly like this except Kevin had facial scruff, they were wearing athletic wear, they had a dog and they were in the Griffith area. But other than that, this is EXACTLY what they looked like.

The Baconator was unshaven and wearing a hat but Kyra was easy to recognize with her megawatt smile and gorgeous figure. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize him since I have seen him naked. If you haven’t seen Wild Things, you should. It’s one of the best pieces of pulpy–trashy–guilty–pleasure–awesomeness out there. Had he been pantsless, I surely would have made the connection. Why I didn’t say something about their dog, like I always do, is beyond me. They would have laughed and smiled and we would have started a conversation and ended up having drinks, they would visit me in Boulder and offered their Malibu home to me whenever I was in the neighborhood. I blame my children for this missed opportunity.

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My second brush with Kevin Bacon in one day. The Gods are mocking me.

One thought on “One Degree of Bacon Separation

  1. Pingback: Dreams, Ceramics, Elk (Items 1051-1066) | verticalviv

Really? No way.

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