The Most Depressing Kids’ Book Ever (1669-1691)

I have a book in my house I’m dying to get rid of. But I can’t. Scrote picked it up in the free bin and gave it to me for Mother’s Day several years back. He even signed his name in it. I know why he selected it, it’s about hippos and he loves hippos, […]

Revenge Will Be His (1649-1668)

I’m having a hard time concentrating right now. Scrote and Testy have gotten into something in the other room. It started out conspiratorial but the tone quickly shifted to whining, then pleading, then crying, okay, Testy is yelling OW-OW-OW-OW-OW! Zeb and I got up at the same time to investigate but he beat me to […]

Unassisted Home Birth (1636-1648)

If you tell Zeb you want something you also have to tell him to stop, or else he will keep it coming forever. Kinda like in Forrest Gump when he plays football and they are all, RUN FORREST RUN and then they have to yell STOP when they want him to stop. I once told […]

Sexy Bret (1598-1365)

This morning Jeb bounded into the bedroom with a burgundy 70’s t-shirt with lions in his hands. He was all excited, “You could look like Bret (pronounced Brit)!”    Huh? “Ohhhhhh, you mean Bret from Flight of the Conchords! Yep, I would look just like him … but … why would I want to do that?” Zeb […]

False Imprisonment (1558-1597)

I’m feeling very random today, and wordy. So is Zeb. He’s doing weird things to the dog. My neighbor called to ask me if I had a bolo tie she could borrow. I was like, “You’re kidding, right? You want to know if I have a bolo tie? How about 200?” Zeb has an enormous collection […]

Process of Elimination (1528-1557)

More changes to my blog! I have added the domain name processofeliminationblog.com The reason is this: I had a very different focus when I started blogging. I wrote about my journey as a pole dance student and instructor, which I will continue to do. But things changed radically for me in November 2012 when I […]

Scary Technology (1508-1527)

You may have noticed that I added a FAQ page to my menu bar along the top. I’ve wanted one of those forever but technology is sooo scary and it took me a few months to work up the nerve to figure it out. And I call myself a technocrat. I answered a few questions […]

Made For Each Other (1462-1507)

Zeb was one of my first friends in Boulder. My very first friend was Jamie Jewett, a tall, blonde dancer studying at Naropa who rode a black Ninja and took me all over town to find a bank. It was the first day I was brave enough to leave my room on The Hill and […]

Superman (1451-1461)

I was bumming out because yesterday I asked Zeb to take a picture of me holding the nasty dredlock and I looked really old. As in ugly old. As in, when I looked at the picture I wasn’t all, “Dear God! Look at that nasty two foot-long dred!” I was like, “Jesus Christ, I’d rather wake […]

Ew! Ew! Ew! (1417-1450)

Every day in Boulder is an opportunity for wonder and surprise. Like this morning, I was walking El Stupido around the Sanitas area when I saw a long, skinny turd. But wait, that isn’t a turd! It’s a dreadlock! That used to be on someone’s head! Seriously, it looked like something that Blue might have […]