Tuesday, May 22, 2012
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged-in and I sincerely wish that I could report that it is because 1) I’ve been working so hard at nailing the bouncing chopper that I haven’t had time to write or 2) every spare moment of my time has been taken up by my work with the Nobel committee. But in the interest of truth and accuracy, I can claim neither.
The absolute truth is both banal and embarrassing. For one, I’m a mom and the last month of school to a mom is somewhat akin to April for a CPA or Hell Week for a rushing freshman. Every other email is a panicked entreaty to throw a graduation/retirement/fundraiser party, or to help cut up and plate 30 sheet cakes, or make 15 gift baskets, or attend some kind of event. Single ladies out there, have a lost you yet? Well, it sucks and doesn’t leave much time for working on my shoulder mount.
The other, more embarrassing reason, is that I’m kind of dispirited. I worked really hard on my first performance for Cinco de Mayo and it felt amazing at the time but I can’t watch the video. Really, I can’t. It looks so different than how it felt that I don’t trust myself. Feel great, looks like amateur night. Then there was a student showcase at Spirals featuring some really amazing performances. The ladies truly blew me away but they kind of intimidated me, too. Some were so rad, so strong, so sexy, that I felt like there is NO WAY I could ever catch up to that. Plus, I feel like my body is failing me. I’ve got this tricky pulled lat that just won’t seem to settle down. Just when I thought it was better, I busted out ten unassisted pull-ups (something I’ve been working towards for two years now) and that nagging pain came back. Mother. Fucker.
Ironically, the only way to not look like an amateur is to practice more. Yet somehow I am blocked. I’ve had plenty of positive energy coming my way from my cohorts at the studio and lots of kudos from my fellow gym rats.
Gym rat: Wow Viv, you look really strong, what have you been doing?
Me: Funny you should ask, I’ve been pole dancing.
—- Awkward silence —-
Gym rat: Really? No way. That’s awesome!
I know my only option is to go on vacation for 10 days (as planned) and take a break from the upper body training, and pull up my big-girl hot pants and get back on that pole. I know I can do it, I just need to crack that whip.