I was pretty stoked about this because I just got on a friend’s private message line where they post icky unsolicited dick-pics (as if there is such a thing as a solicited dick-pic) for us to laugh at and I was feeling pretty lame that I didn’t have any of my own to share because I’m old.
The toilet is a metaphor for my life right now, if you leave out the implied negativity that comes with toilet metaphors.
I don’t know how we got on the subject of queefing but we did and MPT told me that she can queef on command and I was like, YOU BETTER PROVE IT and she was all, NO WAY! so I was like, THEN I DON’T BELIEVE YOU and she was like, YES YOU DO, YOU JUST WANT TO SECRETLY VIDEO ME DOING IT FOR YOUR BLOG and I was like, YES, THAT IS TRUE BUT I DON’T HAVE MY PHONE WITH ME so she agreed to do it.
My Beautiful Dream Lover spent the weekend with us because Nina and I wanted to climb a mountain before it gets too late and since he just can’t get enough of me dragging him out of bed at 4 in the fucking morning, he came up the night before.
Because I blog so often conversations with friends usually start with, “Tell me what isn’t in your blog.” (Boring warning, there are no boobies or Viv fails in this post) I’ve had this conversation so many times recently that I feel like it belongs in the blog, so here goes. Lately I’ve been a raging […]
My boys don’t like horror, nor do I – but the classic monster narrative, the brilliant young cast and their hero’s journey, the set design, costuming and music – it all harkened back to my youth.
One might think that it would be hard to say goodbye to the fantasy existence that was my summer of travel, camping, and beauty, but it isn’t. That shit is exhausting and I as much as I love living in my alternate universe, I’m pretty damn happy with my real life.
The most important thing to report is that I TOOK A LAP DANCE CLASS WITH STEVEN RETCHLESS!
Yes, I got surly and desperately needed alone time and sometimes it felt like I was on an insane schedule, but I’m happy about everything we did.
While the kids tried to kill each other with frisbees and tennis balls, we adults relaxed.