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The Solution to Pollution is Dilution

Ah the holidays where everything is accompanied by the festive sound of children bickering in the background. I employ the age-old technique of collecting as many other people’s kids as I can when I’m stuck at home with Itchy and Scratchy. There’s something about adding more kids to the mix that keeps the conflict from ending […]


Mice Krispies

Six days since my last post? Oh shit. I am striking distance from my 600th post (a dubious distinction at best) but at this rate it will be months before I get there. I’ve gone from hardest working blogger to laziest blogger, probably because I have such a busy and important life. But not really. […]


Time For New Nicknames

My kids were little when I started my blog and at the time it never occurred to me that they would ever be able to read. For a while I operated under the assumption that I could maintain some semblance of anonymity ON THE INTERNET and assigned pseudonyms to my family members and friends. I didn’t […]


I Just Want to See the Floor

Nothing fuels my sense of peace and well-being like a well-ordered house so it’s not surprise that I have been steadily losing my mind since I married Loony. Well-being can be overrated, there are things you sacrifice for love and to be fair, Loony sacrifices a lot for me. I keep waiting for him to fully […]

Blue with my neighbor for scale

Arctic Haboobs But Not My Boobs

Despite the Arctic Haboob I am still alive and well, I just haven’t felt like writing. However, whenever Facebook alerts me that I’ve gotten 15 HITS on my page (woot!) I wonder if a having detailed account of my drunken exploits at the top of my blog is the best thing. I mean, shouldn’t we ease […]


Things I Need to Apologize For (and Things I Don’t)

You know what was great about the Milk Glass Halloween party? The Costumes. It’s also the worst thing about the party because here’s the thing. I pretty much made out with everyone at the party. EV-RY-ONE Well, mostly women OR SO I THOUGHT until I ran into Fantastic Mr. Fox at school drop-off on Friday. […]

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Halloween Party Aftermath (Part 1)

I’m still having a hard time organizing my thoughts about the big Halloween party. That one that happened last week … Somehow talking to Lemony really helps me distill my thoughts. Instead of being all linear and boring about it, I’ll feed it to you in little bits to prolong the goodness. This one came […]

You know you love it

Feline Assphyxiation

That Fucking Cat strikes again! Last night a muffled cry of MOM MOM MOM! came from the boys’ room. Naturally I dropped everything and ran to their aid. Ha ha ha … no. I went into their room with a camera, natch. Testiclese was in bed with That Fucking Cat sitting on his face and he had […]

I have not lost my mind.

Staying Sane

It’s 7am and the table is set for dinner tonight. I have not lost my mind. This is how I keep Loony from piling shit recently acquired treasures on my dining room table. If I set the table, he can’t dump armloads of clothes he just bought on it. Plus, THAT’S WHAT THE WAREHOUSE IS FOR! […]

Probably the wife.

So Wrong It’s Right?

Loony never calls me. I think it’s adorable when married couples call each other just to say hi but alas, it’s not our thing. So when he calls I know something is up, like when he phoned from the Salvation Army. Loony: (all breathless and trembling) Viv, Viv, Viv! I found a painting! It’s incredible! It’s awesome! It’s magnificent! […]